Last Night
by Temamaru
Summary: It always has to do with fight. What happens when Shikamaru and Temari finally surpass the fight over their feelings? And what comes afterwards? Be aware: Rated T for sexual references. ShikaTema
1. After Duty

**Last Night**

Disclaimer: As you know I don't own Naruto or his characters and you know what it feels like: pity

A/N: Well I first thought about making this a Oneshot but well every story is just the beginning of another story so I decided to publish for the first time a multichap! So I rated it T because of sexual references and maybe there'll be other reasons too. Well who knows? So first motif starts here it is also the most important but there will be more after this. So end of this blah. Enjoy reading!

Chapter 1: After Duty

She was there for two months. It had been such a long time since they first worked together on the Chuunin exams. Even if it seemed like yesterday years had passed. And as they had passed by they more and more behaved awkwardly towards each other.

Time changes and time challenges.

They stumbled in each other presence having a great difficulty at hiding the obvious. Strategies had been dismissed and thought over while they held a certain distance observing the other. Although both couldn't directly put the finger on it they weren't stupid enough to miss the signs of attraction.

But being shinobis they had learned to control their feelings as much as their bodies. Still this damn attraction grew. The more often Temari visited Konoha the more their meetings got unbearable. Every touch and every look made the wall between them thinner and more breakable. Slowly the tension pressed on them, begged them to finally free themselves and attack.

Nara Shikamaru and Sabaku no Temari knew of the attraction towards each other. The longing and the need was obvious to them. Still there was to much in the way. The distance between their villages and the loyalty were somethings they couldn't destroy nor simply dismiss. Neither for one night.

Now after the last day of work together, he escorted her to her hotel room.

The door between her room and the floor stood open and was nevertheless between them. Shikamaru leant against the door frame and watched her planning his next step. "Well I should go now. It is getting late and you surely want to head to Suna early tomorrow."

"Yeah. Now that the work is done here I can't be to long away from Suna." She nodded her head escaping his gaze.

He searched for her eyes but she wouldn't let him. He sighed granting her some space. "Troublesome."

She chuckled like she always did when he sounded defeated even if she knew that this was never the case. He always found a hole in the enemy's defence. "What?"

Now she looked up to him and their eyes met. "You know, I'm 21 now. So we could go to the bar and have a last drink."

She smiled. She knew he wasn't much of a drinker and didn't savour it. He just wanted to have a little more time with her and that seemed to be okay. And if she was a little more truthfull to herself she had to admit that by his gaze she couldn't help but obey. "Then let us go."

* * *

At the bar they sat down at a table for two persons. Small enough to have a little privacy but big enough to have a little distance between them.

After they had finally settled themselves Temari grinned at Shikamaru plotting against him. "What do you take?"

Shikamaru saw her grin getting a bad feeling. He knew he could make a wrong step stumbling right way into her trap. "Tch. Maybe the same as you."

"Good. How about a little contest?"

So wrong answer. Shikamaru sighed he was playing into her hands. "Why do you always make a fight out of it?" He gave her a half smile joking and being serious at the same time.

She chuckled. "Why? Are you scared to lose against a woman."She raised an eyebrow knowing he that he couldn't say no when his pride as a man was in danger.

He knew he shouldn't, he knew he would lose but that couldn't help him by the way he felt. He needed to show her that he was a man. Needed to proof her of his manliness even if it was pure stupidity. Probably he also needed to show that he was worth her. "It's troublesome but I'll do it."

She smirked. "Great!"

It seemed to be idiotic but he loved to see her smirk. It was this way she flirted with him. And it was this act of flirt only he and her were obvious to. She knew of the effect it had on him and loved to play with it. Nevertheless he loved even more her real smile. The smile she only smiled for him. Not just flirt but honestly.

After a short while their drinks came. They drank and talked and as they drank more and more, the words passed between them got more personal.

Shikamaru didn't want to lose but neither did he wanted to get totally drunk on their last evening together. So he hit his last drink on the table. "I give up."

"Voluntary?" She seemed surprised. On other occasions he never gave up so early, only when the situation seemed hopeless. Somehow this remembered her of the situation at the Chuunin exam nine years ago when they first fought together. He gave up and she was surprised. Just like now. Still this courage to simply give up and stay over his pride fascinated her.

"Yeah, we should go home." He stood up throwing enough money for both their drinks on the table. "Let's go."

"Yes." Somehow Temari was disappointed. She wanted to have more time with him even for just a few minutes more. But he seemed to have enough of it.

They walked in silence to the hotel where she stayed.

"You know you could go home. I recognise the way by now and I'm not affected by the alcohol too." She looked onto the ground.

"Yeah troublesome but it is my mission to escort you. Also I have to take care of your arrival at home as a man." He wouldn't, he couldn't let her get away so easy. Not this time.

"Still going about that women and men shit aren't you?" She teased.

"Well you are at least obviously a woman and I am a man. So I have to do this even if I wouldn't want it."

They reached the hotel and got themselves in.

"And don't you want it?" Her voice held a hint of huskiness darker and deeper than normal.

He was sure she tried to seduce him to play with him. Leaving him longing more than ever. But being a little bit drunk Shikamaru teased her too giving no care about the consequences. Just giving in into another kind of battle. "Well there are many other things a man and a woman could do, but yes."

"What might these things be, Shika-kun?" She pouted playing innocently.

Oh, she definitely wanted to make him kiss the ground under her feet. "I might show you." With that he leant against her as they reached her door. He pressed her against the door pinning her between the frame and him. He didn't know if he broke through her defence or if she did crack his but now it was time to launch forward.

When he saw the short imply of fear wash over her face he knew that she was aware that they might have to stop at this point obviously feeling his arousal. "So I'm going inside now. Thank you for escorting me. I have to get up early tomorrow."

He watched her opening the door. She stepped in and was about to close the door. Somehow Shikamaru seemed to be not himself. He quickly posed himself in front of her holding the door. She gasped at his motions also not expecting such a thing.

Maybe it was the alcohol but maybe it was her appearance in the dim moonlight shining through the windows creating beautiful shadows over her face. Maybe it was her eyes, the blueish green pools who darkened the moment she was exited or maybe it was her little fear of what they could be. Whatever it was he made his step towards her not caring anymore about the invisible wall between them. "Can't you stay? Don't you want to stay? At least one more day?" He begged and nearly would have fell to his knees if it wasn't for the door he held open.

Something in his eyes made her knees shake and she couldn't find herself to fight it any longer. Not having the strength to hold onto this combat any longer she was barely able to whisper: "Make me stay."

With that he yanked his body into hers capturing her lips with his.

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A/N: Soooo. What do you think? Should I go on or should I give it up? Just for preview next chap will be "After Night"

Please review...

A/N: Ok corrected this chapter. I'm sorry I wasn't aware that there were this much of mistakes even though I'm not sure if there still are some. If, then I didn't found them.


	2. After Night

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto and making no profit of writing about ShikaTema.

A/N: Sooo I finally were able to finish the second chapter! The first chapter I corrected. Properly there are still mistakes but if so forgive me, I try my best. OK there are like always announcements to make:

1. (AND THE MOST IMPORTANT!) This chapter could be likely rated M. It is on the small grade between T and M. I don't think the sexual references (not sure if you could even say reference) are worth M but maybe some of you think so. But I thought it is better to say it now before it is to late.

2. Thank you for the reviews. It made me really speed up on writing.

3. The AuthorNote in the second chart I'll delete sometime.

4. I wasn't sure about the word backseat driver. In Germany you would say "Besserwisser" or "Klugscheißer" but I don't know if the English use backseat driver as an "insult" (In Germany it's a banter)

5. Now, have fun!

Chapter 2: After Night

"Make me stay."

She had breathed these three words to him and he fell into a deep hole of need and want.

Shikamaru had always imagined being with Temari would be a fight. Like the fight when they had danced around each other revealing and not revealing their feelings. Like the fight the times they had played with each other giving hints and secret flirts. Like the fight he had with his own body at times like this.

But no. It was more like living for the first time. Like survival.

Now that he was conscious again he thought about the whole night. His mind just needed to work this over now.

It was indeed no fight when they had finally given in and closed the door behind them. Oh no. It was like they fought together against an unknown enemy. Both fighting for breath, needing themselves, needing to breathe like they were drowning. They clung on the other not letting go. Never fearing the dark ground they hold onto each other as wave after wave hit them. Until they reached the surface.

For him it really had been like seeing the sunlight for the first time.

So now he was watching his love sleep. Even if she smiled now in sleep he wasn't sure if she wouldn't regret last night.

They had made a big step from being rivals to being allies. And now they had to face together a huge foe. It had complicated their relationship but even if he could he would never undo this night. And even if it was troublesome it was worthy to fight for her.

Now not time challenged them but the world itself.

A stray of her loose hair fell into her face. Like touching a butterfly he put it behind her ear. Nevertheless Temari woke up her eyes flattering in a breathtaking manner. He could watch her all day, never tearing his gaze from her just watch her breathing. It really seemed like madness but that didn't matter anymore.

She stretched her arms and embraced him smiling her beautiful smile for him. Just for him. "Good morning, loverboy."

He chuckled and leaned in kissing her tenderly. "Good morning troublesome woman."

"Hey!" She humorously hit him slightly on the arm.

"What? I thought we just stated the truth?!"

She hit him again playfully and he in turn chuckled again. "As I said."

Laughing she pushed him over towering him. "Now you will regret that."

"Oh really? And how?" He raised his eyebrows and she smirked.

"You should know that a good ninja never reveals his plans."

"Yeah but that does not mean he really has one."

"Backseat driver, I think you'll see if I have a plan or not." And with that she bend herself over him. Torturing him for the rest of the morning in really mean ways.

* * *

They lay silently on the bed savouring the moment. Temari let her head rest on his chest listening to his heartbeat while Shikamaru played with her hair watching her breathe with a raising and falling chest. "Do you regret it?"

He had been lost in thoughts and now he wasn't able to figure out her mood so he joked. "Being tortured by you?"

"No", she lifted her head meeting his eyes "being with me."

Somehow he was startled he hadn't expected her to expect him to regret it. More likely he would have thought she would doubt the step instead his feelings. But then again he wasn't sure about hers, too. Irony made him chuckle.

"What are you laughing about?" She raised her delicate eyebrow.

"Nothing. It's just that I wouldn't thought about the possibility of you assuming me to regret it."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Do you?"

"Do what?"

"Stop it! It's nothing to joke about! You should know how serious the situation is."

He looked deep into her eyes watching her slowly. Was she giving him room to escape? Did she wanted him to leave so she'll have it easy? "What if I don't want to know how serious the situation is and to ignore it for being just happy?"

The flames in her eyes died leaving wavering emotions. "What if it never can be this easy? Would you reject me?"

He felt anger rising in his chest. An emotion he usually didn't felt. He grabbed her shoulders and lifted her a little more to him. "Do you really believe I could reject you? How can you speak so low of me?"

She stared before yanking her head away from his direction. She mumbled but he understood her perfectly. "I never thought low of you, just unworthy of myself. And now I want to know if you think it is worthy enough to face the world." She turned her face and looked directly at him. "I'll never give up on you."

He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "You know what I feel like I know what you feel."

She sighed breathing her doubt outwards. Finally the nagging doubt was released on both sides.

He began to kiss her neck and nibbled at her earlobe. She pushed him slightly away. "Do you have plan?"

"No, why? Do you have one?" He again started to attack her body with his lips making his way downwards.

For Temari his treatment made the situation more difficult. She tried to push him away at least halfheartedly. "You're supposed to be the genius."

Surprised he looked up from his business. "And that means I have to do all the thinking? And me thought you weren't stupid yourself."

"I'm not!" Where the hell was her fan when needed?

"So why should I always do the thinking? It's troubleso-" He seldom got to speak when she was around and now she even held her hand over his mouth. This really was troublesome.

Patience was never a great virtue of Temari. "Now the we don't have to fight our feelings but society and policy. You know that?"

His eyes showed a strong passion instead of his common laziness shining with confidence. "Yeah, I know. Don't worry, I find a way for us." With that he returned where he stopped his business.

* * *

Silently they walked to the gates dividing Konoha from the outer world. They didn't want to talk about it. Why should they? Everything they were they were and knew. Nothing could reverse that now or ever.

The disappointment and burden of love was crushing on them but being ninjas they had to be and were brave. So they simply avoided each others gazes.

In Shikamaru's mind the way to the gates began to swim like a dizzy mirage. The ground passed to fast by and it was like he had fever. His throat was dry and he was nearly shivering. It was to hard to let go of her. Everything became blur to him and little did he knew that Temari was experiencing the same.

When they were just a few meters distant to the gates he spotted a few cornflowers. His head snapped out of the dizzy mode, he was in. Disregarding the gate for a moment he headed for the flowers.

"Shikamaru?" Temari watched him puzzled. He looked like being obsessed by something not minding his surroundings just heading for the city's wall. She bent her head sidewards her gaze following him.

After he reached the cornflowers he bent down to pick one tenderly and strolled over to Temari again.

When she knew that he was going to give it to her she blushed and tried to escape not wanting to make their relationship obviously public.

Being Shikamaru he knew Temari wouldn't accept the flower in public so he pushed it carefully into his pocket and escorted her to a few meters outside Konoha. "I can't make you stay for tomorrow?"

She giggled knowing what he implied. "No you can't. You know that I cannot leave my brothers this long for themselves."

"Troublesome siblings." Denying policy and loyalty was good. It would hurt to much to tell the truth or hearing it of her. They both knew it. So why should they salt the wound?

"Sometimes they are. Next time I come around I hope you used something of your brain, genius."

"Can't promise, troublesome woman."

She smiled for him.

He smiled for her.

"Well then until next time." With that she turned around.

"Wait!" Shikamaru again stepped up to her his lips forming her name.

Startled Temari turned around again and suddenly she held the cornflower in her hands.

That was when their fingers had brushed each others for quite a long time again.

Now it was not only longing connecting them over miles but missing.

Not needing to foresee it they just knew it was going to be harsh from now on.

Being them they knew how to survive.

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A/N: Sooo (I should stop the "Sooo" I know) how did you like it? If somebody thinks it is to much fluff I can assure you it is very very important for the story. Anyway speak your mind to everything you might have in head reading this.

I started with the next two chapters. Momentary I have a few of problems at my study but I give my best at updating as fast as I can.


	3. After Distance

Disclaimer: I would love to but sadly I'm one of the majority. I don't own Naruto. Well but I own what I made of it.

A/N: It has been a while but now I am able to present the third chapter. I could say that I am sorry and tell you of my many exams but I don't want to steel your time. Anyway I would like to thank the people who bothered to review and read my story so far. Well I also have to annouce that there are be three OCs, I had to invent.

So now we go on. I hope you like and if you don't you can always blame me because I produced this.

* * *

Chapter 3: After Distance

Never in his life would Nara Shikamaru have imagined this to be so hard. He peeked a glance at the sky and his heart arched again.

Sometimes he wondered why he could feel it anymore. As time had passed this ache became permanently. It bothered him most of the time. Maybe there are things which never can become a habit to one.

His gaze didn't leave the sky. His eyes were cloudy as the sky above him.

„Nara-sensei!"

He snapped out of his dizzy state flowing into the real world as the intriguingly loud voice disturbed him. „Huh?"

„What are you staring at again? You promised to show us how to climb trees today!" One of his genin shouted at him. Why do they always appear to be loud and noisy?

„Yeah, you know it's troublesome but you have to concentrate your Chakra on you feet, regulating it's flow, not to much nor less and it doesn't differ." He looked at his genins. The three of them looked innocently and pure. Children thinking of fighting to be fun and being proud to be a shinobi. He remembered the time when he had been like them. But he wouldn't scare them. They have to make their own experiences. At least for now they deserved to fight for their dreams without knowing all the troublesome aspects of being a shinobi.

The hand of the noisiest shot up. "Sensei!"

"Yeah?"

"Show us!" Takeru nearly jumped up and down caused by his anticipation. His green eyes shimmered while the strains of his raven hair fell into his face.

Shikamaru sighed. They really had to learn a lot of things in the future. First thing was: Patience.

* * *

Normally patience was something Shikamaru had a lot of. It was one of the most important ventures in a fight. Fighting didn't consisted of moving solely. Strategy needed patience. Patience to look through the enemy's behaviour. Patience to look for a mistake of his.

In this style of combat Shikamaru was the best in. Some people also rumoured about him to be not only the best strategist of Konoha but having a great chance to wear the title of the Hokage someday.

But all this was not an interest of Shikamaru. And although people believed him to be not interested in anything, they were absolutely on the wrong side. Shikamaru wasn't interested in people's belief and the rumours they tend to create. But he was interested in nothing but the thing he couldn't have and was not allowed to be interested in. This they didn't know and couldn't see. Then again they didn't knew of his one desire.

Life got harder for Shikamaru to bear. It was harder to be motivated by anything. People thought it was normal for him. But in fact there was a time he took out his duty seriously. Fighting for his friends and village seemed to be not important anymore. Or rather not the most important thing in his life.

It was only one fight he had to survive and this was the most difficult task he ever had laid his focus on.

Before Temari and him had destroyed the wall that separated them. He had used this wall to hide behind, hide his feeling in front of her and the world.

But now, two years after this one night he felt even more lifeless than ever before.

He once had thought that missing her wasn't as cruel as longing for her. How dumb had he been to believe something like that. He had analysed this situation a hundred times in his head and concluded that his beliefs he held back then were just an excuse to make it more logical to be with her.

Nothing was ever logical, not when one fell in love. And hard Shikamaru fell. Hard enough to let the heart control the head. Which meant something in his case.

Now he had not only trouble with missing her but was longing to hold her, be with her, loving her. Maybe he would die someday out of heartache that resulted out of missing her.

Before this first last night he had to fight his longing to kiss her and spill out every of his emotions. But after it, it was never enough to kiss her and tell her everything. They had never enough time together and every night they shared was considered to be the last night. It was eating him up on the inside to be captured in a circle of never ending goodbyes.

How ironical it was that every time she was with him, he felt alive and was reassured that it was worth to fight for them. Every time it felt like she was lending him new breath and his wounds were healed.

Yet when she disappeared through these gates of Konoha his breath became shallow and his wounds ripped open again.

It was the worst battle he had ever had experienced. Every morning brought him some ditch of agony to get up and find a reason to be awake when she was not lying next to him. Every evening had to cool dramatically down to get him into his bed so he would stop starring at the sky grieving, wondering about her. And every night had to become completely dark to persuade him to sleep.

But then again he always left his door like his heart open for her. She always was welcomed to go into and sneak out whenever she thought was right. He sometimes was angry on her even if he knew that she wasn't guilty that he experienced such an agony. In fact she was agonized too.

Nevertheless he couldn't stand the man he became every time she left him.

Shikamaru remembered this one time he found her on the couch sleeping and looking more beautiful than ever.

* * *

_It had been a troublesome month of bureaucracy followed by a week filled with troublesome genins at a troublesome mission and an even more troublesome day consisting of a mission report and a visit in the hospital because of Takeru's way to get injured by slipping of a branch and breaking his left leg. _

_Unfortunately Shikamaru learned the hard way that Takeru's parents were equally noisy compared to their son. They disturbed him by asking ridiculous questions like how he could have let this happen and why he didn't pay more attention. Shikamaru on his part wondered how they could let Takeru become a shinobi if they complained about something as minor as a little fracture. But he probably would have ruined their pretty world if he would have mentioned the fact that a fracture is a tiny concern for a shinobi._

_But he had somehow survived this kind of conversation full of paradoxes with nothing but a headache. Nevertheless he would have killed for his rest and wanted to just fall into his bed._

_However his intentions were quickly forgotten when he saw the blond beauty sleeping on the couch. He didn't know how long he stood and starred but when she flattered her eyes open and looked directly at him he wasn't able to think anymore. It felt like his body like his heart wanted to jump at her. _

_Finally he was able to move and immediately started to go for her. Only for her, as ever. Her body and heart welcomed him._

_Later - much later - as he laid on the couch with her on him they found their words again. "You didn't wrote that you'll come." _

"_Maybe I wanted to surprise you." She didn't look up to him._

"_Maybe?" He lifted his head from his comfortable position and searched her eyes._

_Temari in turn also lifted her head looking directly at him. "Well, there is also the possibility that I couldn't write you because I had no time before I left Suna."_

_He lifted an eyebrow."And that would be why?"_

"_I had to be with you."_

_They watched each other. Shikamaru broke the rigor by laying back again and caressed her hair. "I'm glad for that." There was no need to confess._

_She chuckled into his chest. The vibrations felt so alive as her head was settled over his heart. "You really have your way with words."_

"_Wouldn't you be with me if I had?" He opened an eye half way to look at her._

_"Why? Wouldn't you be the same lazy ass?"_

_He chuckled. "Troublesome woman." He kissed her hair and wished to be like this for ever. "You're perfect the way you are." At least they have this moment._

"_I'll stick to that."_

_Not three hours later as they moved to his bed he accidentally destroyed the time they had._

* * *

They had known that someday something will get in the way. No matter how much light they brought each other shadows of grief always lurked in the corners ready to attack.

He wouldn't have imagined it to happen so early caused by a stupid question. Then again she would have told him eventually.

* * *

_He kissed her shoulder and breathed her scent. He needed her so much. _

_Temari sighed. Her chest bent as the breath left her._

_She was everything he smelled, everything he heard, everything he tasted, everything he felt. He was aware of her and everything that was precious and worth to cherish. How blind and deaf he felt without her. Suddenly he jerked his head up. "When will you leave again?"  
_

_She also jerked her head up._

_He saw it in her eyes before she said a word. Her eyes changed. Instead of the dark blue when she was aroused her eyes seemed dull. Instantly he knew something was wrong. "What?"_

_Before he could realize what was going on she backed away. "I'm sorry."_

"_What? I don't understand. What for?" He tried to reach her but she shied away again protecting herself with his blanket. The whole situation seemed surreal. _

_He wondered since when Temari did act like this. He never seen her behave so strange._

_Shikamaru wasn't sure about the person in front of him. She bite her lip and looked at her feet. "Did I do something wrong? Darn! Temari answer me, please."_

"_Look. I should have been honest from the first moment I was here." _

"_What are you talking about?" He didn't knew his voice could ever sound croaky._

_She took a deep breath. He assumed for not losing her temper on him more than for collecting strength. "I came here because I had to see you not only because I missed you but I need to tell you something."  
_

_If this situation were anything but serious he would laugh about the ridiculous scene. He knelt on the bed in front of her, naked, only wearing a mask of confusion while she fumbled with his blanket. Nevertheless he couldn't laugh nor did he move an inch waiting numbly for what she had to tell him._

* * *

Shikamaru remembered how the situation ended. She hadn't visited since than. Both had been totally out of character. He bawled. She cried. She sobbed. He yelled.

Then she left him.

Now it was to late. He couldn't undo it even if he wished for nothing but hold her again. Probably he should have hold her back then instead of doubting her feelings. In fact he didn't even do more against their situation than she had. She didn't deserve this.

Neither did he but he felt responsible for what happened.

And now they both are suffering more than ever. How often did he wish to go to Suna but he didn't felt strong enough. The longer this thing between them was going on the weaker he felt. All he felt like doing was to linger and bleed out.

But he would wait for her. As long as he was able to.

"SENSEI!" Takeru attacked again coming from above. Shikamaru guessed he should stop dreaming unless he wanted a knife to stab his back. He sensed his other two genins – Arashi and Daisuke - behind him. "Are you giving up NOW?"

Shikamaru smiled. This Takeru really had some things in common with Naruto. He also never thought twice. But he was far away from defeating his teacher if he won't learn to fight a little more intellectually. There was more than his body one needed in fight. Turning around Shikamaru drew a few kunai preparing to defend himself and ending this training session.

"Far from it."

* * *

A/N: I hoped you catched the plot. I thought a lot about the interaction and Shikamaru's behavio(u)r. Hopefully you catch the net I've created. Moreover I tried to stick to the american english which something I always stumble over (see behavio[u]r). Nevertheless I tried because I wanted to and I hope I didn't made many mistakes concerning grammar and punctuation. You are allowed to complain if you feel like it.  
As I am sure Sand-Jounin-Temari will read this I wanted to say that I liked your "A Cowboy in Shining Amour". Had no time to review but I try to do so in the next days.

I don't know what the next chapter's title will be yet but after this retarding moment there will be more action.


	4. After Resolution

A/N: Hey you guys! I love to present you my revised forth chapter. I'd wrote it directly after the third but hadn't had time until now to read it again and correct things. I suggest to understand this chapter you to read the third one.

As for your reviews, well there hasn't been any although I figured out that some of you liked it because of the "alerts/favorite story" posted. Nevertheless I hope you will write something about this to me. Tell me what you liked. If you hated the change, if this is crap or if the perspective didn't get along with the plot. Whatever. Tell me at least "Liked it" or something. Please.

Disclaimer: Still don't own Naruto or the characters.

**Last Night**

Chapter 4: After Resolution

Temari no Sabaku never backed away. She was a strong willed fighter and tended to be not frightened by any enemy. She never feared anything.

But why did she feel now this nervousness in the pitch of her stomach?

Due to the passed years she learned that everything seemed possible when it came to him. If one told her five years ago that someday she would be anticipating a man's nearness she would laughed into his face.

But Shikamaru proved her wrong. He always did.

She would never have imagined to fall for somebody, never imagined to feel this madness. Wasn't it madness? Wasn't it madness to behave totally out of character, to long for something she couldn't describe?

Self-consciousness was something she never lacked. She never dared to doubt herself. But lately she wasn't sure if she had done the right thing.

Now Temari was on her way to Konoha. Feeling increasingly sick the nearer she came to her destination. She never lacked courage and she wouldn't start now.

How could they ever have believed to win anyway? They had disregarded any rule a shinobi had. They let their emotions take control, they showed all their weakness and it turned out they didn't play in a team. Both had done nothing to help their situation. It wasn't an issue as long as they shared enough time or rather enough time to not end up like a bloody puppy. They ignored the stoppageuntil it was to late to make a move. They ignored the circumstances getting worse until they lost control.

She needed to tell him. She had to be with him.

He'd probably had enough time to consider what he really wanted. She'd had. She knew what she wanted, didn't she?

She remembered the last time she was with him. She didn't told him the truth from the very beginning. She hadn't been able to do it. It had been to cruel to look into in his eyes and tell him while all she saw in them had been hope and everything she wanted had been just to be in his arms.

He always held his arms open for her. He, Shikamaru, was the one who made her feel like this.

* * *

"_You're perfect the way you are." _

_He looked her into her eyes and she knew she was everything to him. She couldn't tell him. "I'll stick to that."_

_They didn't need to confess their feelings. These famous three words would sound awkward._

_He had asked why she'd had no time to give him notice about her arrival. She told him she needed to be with him. It was true. She had missed him. But she had hesitated confronting him for a long time. She had known since two months but she wasn't able to come here until now._

"_So why don't you use these delicate hands more often?" She needed some time. They needed more time to be ready to face the truth. _

"_Troublesome woman always wanting me to give into all her wishes." He sighed theatrically. _

_She laughed. It was always him to make her laugh. She felt so free to laugh, to be herself when she was with him. "Isn't that what you're good at?"_

_There it was again. The sparkle of seriousness in his eyes. "Yes, I am."_

_

* * *

_

How often had she debated this moment with herself? How often had she lied in her bed starring at the ceiling and wishing she hadn't told him. But she had had to do it eventually. Some things are inevitably and he should be the best to know.

It had hurt. It had hurt her to see his eyes, to see him break. Some wounds always left a scar.

It had been inevitably. They both had known that someday something will come between them. They were shinobis. They had to be loyal to their villages, to their families and their friends.

At least this had been what she tried to explain to him when she had told him about her finishing her duty as ambassador.

* * *

"_Shikamaru, you have to understand. My brother is the Kazekage. I can't betray him as my brother and as the head of the village. I can't betray my village." She searched his eyes but he turned his head to block her._

"_Are you giving up on us?", he mumbled._

"_Don't dare to speak like that. You know it is not that." Why did it feel like a lie? She swallowed.  
_

_His head snapped upwards. "Did I do something wrong?"_

"_You know that isn't what I mean." She felt like falling. She wanted to crawl in a corner.  
_

"_Then what? Tell me what you mean!" His voice sounded horse as he bawled. He took a few steps in her direction. This time she didn't shy away._

"_Why won't you understand?"_

"_Why won't you fight?"_

_Temari had heard this voice before. This begging tone in his usually indifferent voice. It was back then when he had asked her to stay for the first time when she couldn't help but give in. She felt horrible. What had happened to them? "What if I have no strength anymore? What if we screwed up?"  
_

"_I don't want you to go." He really begged. _

_She would have laughed if this situation wouldn't be this ridiculous. He begged and she felt like a whiny whimp. "It isn't that easy."_

"_It never was. And we both knew." He again stepped towards her._

"_We also knew that something could get in the way." She was so desperate for him to just let it go, why wouldn't he understand that they needed to stop this madness?_

"_But why did we fail?" He asked as if it wouldn't make any sense.  
_

_This situation was really ridiculous."I think our beliefs collided."_

"_Do you really make it that easy for you?" He circled her._

"_I have the right to!" She was loosing her temper. She couldn't take it anymore. Why did he try to make her feel ashamed? Why did he make her feel like a fool?_

"_Fine then. Go to hell with your damn right!" He yelled. _

_She never heard him yell before. She was taken aback. "Excuse me?"  
_

"_You heard me! If you want to let go, do as you like." _

"_Don't force the guilt on me alone. You didn't fight yourself! All we did was running forth and back without any improvement. We were standing still. How long would we be able to go on like this? Weeks? Months?" She really was loosing it. But worst was that she felt like crying, she could live with yelling and hitting him but crying like a little girl would show him to much._

"_That's a lame excuse."_

"_I don't think that this will have a future. Why didn't you do something? Where is your damn plan?"_

_He looked away._

"_You did nothing! And now you accuse me because we failed?!" A lost tear slipped down her cheek._

"_I did my best! Don't give me that! Maybe this whole thing wasn't worth fighting for." _

_She felt like he had slapped. He looked as shocked as her. What was said was said and she couldn't help but break. It was her who wanted to stop fighting but now everything felt unreal. It took a while until she noticed herself sobbing and crying. _

_He held her._

_She realized and fled unconsciously grabbing her things._

_He yelled the last time. "I'll never let you go."_

_

* * *

_

How long has it been since she saw him? One year?

It felt like an eternity. The memories still hurt like an old wound ripped open.

But she never backed away. Again she had to tell him the truth. She felt responsible. She didn't want him to hear it from anybody but her.

Then again hadn't she backed away from her feelings? She had never given up before. But she had given up to fight for their relationship. It had been a relationship, although she never said so. She had never confessed it to herself until it was over.

It had been inevitably. She'd had the right to this.

Sometimes one had to give up when a fight became aimless.

It had been inevitably. She tried to believe herself.

She doubted herself.

What had she become?

* * *

Finally Temari arrived in Konoha. She had taken a delivery mission and her brother didn't question her reason. He trusted her. He had trusted her Suna's diplomacy, trusted her solidarity as much as her loyalty.

Before she searched for Shikamaru she had to deliver the letter at the entrance. Afterwards she would head to the embassy to catch some breath.

But her plan was revised when she met another blond, Ino. It was to late to turn around avoiding her. Ino had spotted her already and waved. "Hi!"

"Oh hello." Carefully Temari went towards her. She wasn't sure how much Shikamaru had told her about their former relationship.

"Haven't seen you around lately."

"Yeah. I cancelled my function as ambassador." She didn't want to be here. She didn't want to talk to her.

"Ah. So that's why you haven't been here for so long." Ino mustered her nodding consciously.

Temari looked around searching for an excuse to escape.

Ino watched her silently. "You know he is at the training field."

"Ah, okay." She was stunned but turned around nonetheless. Suddenly she stopped looking at the other blond over her shoulder. "Why?"

Her question wouldn't make sense if they hadn't something in common, something they both cared about. "He changed. He hasn't been himself and he wants to talk neither. Not to me at least."

Temari nodded understandingly and made her way to the training ground. Maybe he will talk to her.

She didn't knew which field he would be at. Somehow her feet moved on their own and brought her to him. When she saw him she was glad he hadn't turned around yet. She needed to breath. There he stood, a few meters away, shouting something about concentrating chakra to three kids fighting against each other. He never had looked better than now. All adolescence was washed away. Between his strong fingers lingered a cigarette and her heart skipped a beat when she heard his deep voice. Who was she fooling? Was she able to this?

Suddenly he turned around as if he had sensed her. They looked at each other. No one dared to make a move. His eyes looked so deep and she saw the knowledge of an elder in them. He was a full man now wearing some trace of loneliness in his eyes. She longed to hold him.

Their silent accounter was interrupted by these three kids looking from him to her. "Sensei, who is that woman?"

Shikamaru didn't break contact as if he was fearing she wouldn't be there if he turned away. "What?"

One with raven hair pulled Shikamaru's arm. "SENSEI!"

Temari steadied her breath before she went further to them. She was able to smile politely.

Now Shikamaru seemed to win a little composure again, too. "Well this is Temari no Sabaku the respectable sister of the Kazekage and a dear friend of mine." He looked at her puzzled.

"Wow, cool. Didn't knew you would know someone important as her, sensei." Again the little raven haired.

Shikamaru sighed. "Temari, these are my genins. Takeru, -" He pointed to the loudmouth. "- Daisuke, -" Another boy with blond hair and a polite nod. "- and Arashi." A brunette girl with maroon eyes and a mustering gaze.

"Nice to meet you." The girl still watched her carefully and suspiciously. Temari looked at Shikamaru sending him the sign to speak in private to him.

"I would say we finish for today."

The raven haired boy - Takeru - looked shoked. "WHAT?!"

"You trained enough and I need a break. We'll continue first thing next morning."

"But sensei!" Takeru pouted. But Shikamaru ignored him.

"You are dismissed." The genins left with Takeru slouching over the ground.

Temari chuckled hearing Shikamaru sigh. "Aren't they to troublesome for you?"

"I suppose so." He simply shrugged his shoulders.

She wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to her after all they have been through. His eyes mustered her, scanned her for hints revealing her feelings like he used to do back then.

This time he broke the silence. "So, what do you want?"

Maybe he really didn't want to talk to her. "What makes you think I want something?" This was the play they always had played. Their typical dance she was used to. She hold question against question. Until one of then gave up. Why shouldn't they behave as in former times?

"Haven't seen you for a long time." He mechanically lit a cigarette. "You have to want something if you reappear all of a sudden."

"Thought you quit." She was torturing herself. Why not simply pull the trigger and get over it?

"I had." Shikamaru searched again for answers in her body language.

The field was too open. Too much space for her to escape and she tempted to. "Can we go somewhere more private, please?"

He gave her his indifferent gaze she knew he used to hide his feelings. "Sure."

They went in silence to his apartment. There was no turning away now. She needed to tell him. They both deserved release. It had to end. Somehow words slipped out her mouth. "How have you been lately?"

A stupid question. Temari saw the answer in his eyes and knew he hadn't been happy in the near past. She hadn't been either.

Finally they arrived at his apartment and he let her in. She felt tackled down as a wave of memories hit her. She stood there breathing the familiar scent and looked around his apartment which hadn't changed. She remembered sometimes they hadn't been able to wait to come to the bed and made passionate love against the front door. The clothes often had been forgotten sprawled all over his apartment. The couch where they had laid with her snuggling into his warm chest. The kitchen where she often failed cooking something edible. They had shared everything in here. All the happiness and in the end the sorrow.

The blanket was still placed on the couch as if he was waiting for her to surprise him again. Breathing was getting harder for her and she felt his gaze flowing over her as he stood behind her. "You know you have to let go." Was she talking to him or herself?

She felt him wrap his arms around her. Everything in her screamed to melt into these arms. He shouldn't do that. He should let go. She shouldn't let this happen.

"Why do I have to?" Why did he ask her something so stupid? Why was all of this so irrational? Why didn't he let her go? And why the hell did he feel so soothingly warm?

They could be happy without each other. She had to believe it. It was too late to dump her decision.

It was time for the simple pull at the trigger.

"I'm getting married."

Dead shot.

* * *

A/N: The end might be to dramatically or something but I never believed those two to have an easy relationship. Well and the dialogs of the past are continuing those of the third chapter if some of you haven't noticed. At this point please review. Thanks!


	5. After Revelation

A/N: Finally I managed to upload this. I had it finished weeks ago. But whatever now it's up and I hope you all will like it. Anyway, it would be nice to hear more opinions I even don't mind if they are anonymous. I have the feeling many people read this stuff but don't really have an opinion, how can that be?  
So again flashbacks are in italic and I had already diclaimed the figures of Naruto so often it makes me sick.  
Oh well.  
Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 5: After Revelation

He didn't know why he was here. It was the last thing he wanted right now. Why wasn't he left alone to sink in the couch back home. The smell that lingered in the air reminded him that he forgot to eat. He let his fingers drum onto the wooden table sighing. He felt so restless and it didn't make sense to him.

Impatiently he stood up and left the building lightening one cigarette in the instant he was at the fresh air. Feeling a little comfort Shikamaru drew one deep breath of the poisonous smoke. He didn't care anymore.

"You know this will kill you someday."

He turned around seeing his friends appear. While Ino swayed her hips to a silent music Choji stomped down the crowded street of Konoha. This wasn't what he wanted to see or to be near at. He wasn't displeased by them being a couple with such obvious differences. Instead he was happy for them but somehow it felt like a sting.

* * *

"_You know what?" She looked up to him. Her teal eyes shining in dawn's light. _

_He snorted trying to make fun of her. "Please, enlighten me." _

_She elbowed him. _

"_All right, I'm all ears."_

_She stared into his eyes. He thought light was made to engulf her like it did now."Although people might think we are so different from each other I think we are much alike."_

_He smiled -"You know what? Me, too." - and kissed her._

* * *

He shrugged and threw the cigarette against the wind.

Again Ino was the one talking. "Can we go inside now? Choji already complained being hungry."

They went inside taking a seat in their bench. Choji ordered his food immediately minding to order a salad for Ino. Again the smell of barbecue was almost intoxicating but Shikamaru didn't feel like eating.

Silence fell over the three, only disturbed by the background's noises of the other customers. He didn't mind it for he found some rest just sitting with his two best friends. He stretched his back and tried to relax but as ever thoughts interrupted his illusions of freedom. He couldn't stop thinking about her as the sun shone generously inside the restaurant and the wind outside picked up the fallen leafs.

"Shikamaru?... Shikamaru?"

Again he woke up finding Ino looking angry somehow. "Yeah?"

"How long will this go on?"

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"You know perfectly well what I mean." She looked like she was ready to scratch his eyes out.

He sighed. "Troublesome."

The food was brought. Choji who still hasn't said something was thankful to get started. Ino just eyed her salad before she turned to Shikamaru again. "Don't you want to eat something?"

She received just a shrug as an answer. He hated to be so absentminded but he couldn't help it either.

She smiled her funny smile. "Are you on a diet, too?"

"Sorry, Ino. I'm not up for jokes at the moment." He looked at the empty place beside him. He always left some space free.

"You aren't up to anything for a long while now." She looked for some help from Choji but he shoveled more meat into his mouth. Sighing she mustered Shikamaru again. "I know what's going on and I'm not the only person."

Being curious now Shikamaru looked up. "What do you mean?"

Ino sat up straight. "She is getting married."

He swallowed wondering why it seemed to be easy for everybody to say it?

"_I'm getting married." _

He was still trying to comprehend. He was told to be a genius but this words still sound like a foreign language - faint and undecipherable. But nevertheless strong enough to make him feel like being stabbed.

"Shikamaru?" Ino's sincere look turned into worry.

This weirdly wrong feeling in his stomach made him wanting to throw up. "So what? I don't care."

"You do care a lot. You wouldn't care to say it if not. Don't act like a child."

Her funny look irritated him even more. "Then tell me how I am supposed to act, please."

"Give it a rest."

He stirred up. "What do you mean? Should I forget her?"

Shaking her head Ino laid her hand soothingly onto his. "No, not that. I think you should try to get over her."

He drew his hand away. He definitely didn't need such speeches. "What if I am not able to? I tried. I had tried every now and then before but I just can't."

"Neither can you go on forever like this." She picked at her food.

"Do really think I am so dumb to not understand that this situation has to end somehow?" For the first time in his life Shikamaru wanted to stand up and leave his friends behind. He didn't see the point in speaking about these matters for all it brought up the grief again which he tried to block out. "I think it's better if I go now and leave you two alone."

Choji looked from the one to the other munching slowly. His gaze rested on Ino who tried to control herself and not punch Shikamaru for his stupidity obviously telling herself that he wasn't himself right now. "Don't you understand, that we are worried about you."

"This won't change anything either." He lifted himself from the bench before putting his hands in his pockets.

Ino slapped her hand on the table in the same moment she stood up. "Damnit! It was her who decided to leave and now you have to suffer? This is unfair. I had thought she wanted to talk to you because she would come back but -"

"What?" He turned to her again. Temari had talked to Ino? Did Temari have shown any sign that she wanted to come back to him?

"Uh?"

"What do you mean?" Shikamaru sat down again just as Ino did.

"Well, when she came here I talked to her and told her where you are. Anything wrong with that?"

It was most likely they didn't talk about them. He was sure Temari wouldn't do that, especially not to Ino. And all he knew was that she came to tell him her great news. Definitely not about coming back to him. "No. It doesn't make a difference."

"If you need any help, you know Choji and I are there for you."

He looked at both of them. Even if they couldn't help him, they would be there to try. Maybe Ino would get on his nerves in the process but he didn't mind. He didn't want to fight his friends over it. It was like this time when Asuma had died and they both found comfort in each other. Back then he also had found comfort in someone else. "Yeah I know."

Again silence laid down on them like a thin but warm blanket.

Shikamaru looked at the empty seat again. "What do you think he would say?"

Choji swallowed the last three bites down talking for the first time. "Probably just something like advising to do the right thing so he won't have to find a real answer."

Shikamaru slightly smiled. "Yeah probably."

* * *

The last rays of the sunlight couldn't reach her. The only witnesses of her presence were the shadows she let embrace her. It was only them to acknowledge, to know her want and her need. It was only them to see her tears and what her heart longed for but will never reach.

Now it already seemed harsh but she was certain after the next two months it would become even worse. Temari sat here on her house's rooftop every evening watching the sun go down and arguing with herself. She was doing the right thing. It was the best for Suna and for her brother so it was the best for her, too. She shouldn't be sulking over the whole issue. She was trained always choosing the right thing for the village even if this meant to hurt herself. Now she was doing the right thing. She had suffered and she will for a long time but it was the best thing for the village. So it was eventually the best thing for her, wasn't it?

If Sunagakure was able to strengthen the coalition to the Land of Wind, it should be her desire to achieve this and forget about her stupid desires. The Daimo already promised her to give her enough space for her duty as Konochi. She should be grateful.

It was outright silly for her to grieve over him not coming. So what? He had turned away from her but she had no right to accuse him. In fact she had assumed it from the moment of his reaction. They hadn't fought but she would have welcomed it at that time.

* * *

"_I'm getting married."_

_The silence was making the air disturbingly thick. _

"_I know it comes all of sudden." She tried not to simply run out the door._

_He still didn't said a word, didn't move an inch, didn't seem to hear her. His gaze was lost._

"_You should come visit me. We could talk then."_

_His stupor was replaced by a bitter smile._

Still it was hard to accept. Hard to think about. Hard to know. Hard to feel.

She chuckled. Well, he was probably thinking the same.

Desperately Temari looked at the stars sparkling mischievously at her, the only ones left to face the sun.

* * *

He wanted to be left alone so he went to his favorite cloud-watching place on the rooftop of a random building. Dusk welcomed him spreading wide shadows over his figure.

Stretching his body over the bench Shikamaru yawned. He considered sleeping at this place with the peaceful clouds lulling him into sleep. He wasn't sure when he last had taken his time to just enjoy the beautiful sight of the sky. The mingling clouds tried to hide the sun and hide the light. The light that always reminded him of his sun.

Suddenly he jerked up. Not even now she let him his peace. It was troubling him so much.

Why had she done that? Her cruelty never had reached him before. Then again she had wanted to explain herself and invited him to her home. He felt like a coward but he couldn't take that again, this load of woe when she looked at him sincerely and told him that she will marry someone else.

Hadn't she seen that it was torturing him?

What a mess.

He pulled a cigarette out of the pack leaving the last one alone. Maybe he should quit but this possibility was frankly as distasteful as going to Suna. He knew that with every cigarette he was making a little step towards his death but he didn't care.

How pathetic.

He tried to tell himself he didn't miss her but memories of her haunted him. He remembered how her hair felt against his cheek, how her eyes shined lovingly at him reflecting the sunlight, how her smile warmed every fibre of him.

He wondered when he would be able to believe that he won't miss her. Everything reminded him of her and he would have gone mad already if it wasn't for a little drugs. Damn that woman. It was like a spell he wasn't able to break. It always hurt looking back now as much as doubts troubled him.

Should he had fought more? There has been some time he had sworn himself he wouldn't give up so easily but he had done not a thing. Now it was inevitable for him to end up alone. It wasn't her fault that he was good for nothing. Maybe he should follow the invitation and visit her.

* * *

"_Say Lazy." She turned her head towards him as they laid on the bench watching the clouds flow by._

"_Hn?" He made a little afford to turn his head meeting her gaze._

_She looked serious. He had studied her by now knowing every of her motions. "Did you ever stood on a battlefield never knowing what will come next or which way you should choose?"_

_He considered._

* * *

"Yeah, I do." He mumbled now flipping the dead ash away only for the wind to lift it up one last time. He watched the ashes being under the winds command until they fell. The last rays of the sun emphasized the shades as he watched the shadows grow longer without his influence.

Shikamaru knew he should act, at least doing something about his situation. He dropped the rest of the cigarette. The wind stroked his cheek soothingly.

An Anbu suddenly appeared in front of him both knowing he would be dead if it had been an enemy. "Hokage-sama wants to see you."

Shikamaru arched an eyebrow. It had to be something important.

* * *

He knocked at the door when he arrived immediately being asked to come in. "What's the matter?"

Tsunade looked briefly up from the paper in front of her. "There are some rumors running around." Her pen quickly scribbled over the document. She didn't look at him.

Slightly puzzled Shikamaru wondered about the meaning. "What do you mean?"

"You know about the wedding of Kazekage's sister?"

He felt something wasn't right. He had to be carefully at this matter. "Apparently I do."

"These rumors mostly concern your relationship with her or rather your feelings for her." She stopped writing and took a bottle of sake out of one drawer. "Not recommended complications might come up, if they are true. It may be a low risk but I don't want you to have problems with our allies when you're one of the main figures for the alliance between Suna and Konoha."

He was startled. How the hell did she knew about that? Who could have spread this rumor? He slightly shifted his weight from one leg to the other being uncomfortable with the whole situation.

* * *

"_What are you sulking about?" She held her head up._

_He looked at the ceiling thinking about all the times they shared secretly."I think you could do much better than me."_

_She mustered him as he laid moveless, just staring up."You're wrong, there will never be someone else." Her hand caressed his face as he felt her hair against his shoulder. _

"_But you deserve much better than this." He turned away._

_She pulled his face towards her sharing the hurt expression."There is not a thing in the world that makes me as happy as when I'm with you and now stop it." She roughly dropped his head onto the pillow making him chuckle as they both reached for the other's hand._

"_I know what you mean." He was happy._

* * *

Tsunade caught his gaze with her eyes sharply direct pointing at him, aware of his reaction. "Will your feelings get in the way?"

He swallowed. What was he supposed to say when he himself wasn't sure about this? But in the end it was his duty as a shinobi to do what's best for the village, right? "No, Hokage-sama."

She knocked the pen onto the paper while searching for false truth in his expression. She sighed. He wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed but somehow he felt transparent under her gaze. "Hoped so. I think it is okay then if I give you the invitation now."

"An invitation for what?"

"The wedding. As I said you're one of the most important people concerning the alliance. Besides, the Kazekage's family invited you personally. But I first wanted to make sure." The last word stressed she leaned more into the chair again looking at him questioningly.

Shikamaru had to fight against emotions dwelling up at this moment. He stopped his right hand from quivering and burrowed quickly. "Thanks." He wanted to turn and run fast.

He had made it to the door without loosing control. "Wait, Shikamaru!"

Nearly invisible stiffing Shikamaru looked at the Hokage again. "Yeah?"

"There is something I need you to do. The treaty conditions must be reviewed and edited for they are renewed because of the wedding."

Was the world laughing at him or was it just himself who could have laughed at this? He shortly wondered why the word was haunting him everywhere he went.

She handed him the papers and finally released him. "You can go now."

It had grown night by now. Shikamaru walked directly to his apartment ignoring the people greeting and smiling at him. He passed his genins. Takeru yelling after him. But he wasn't in the mood for this. He nearly crushed the document in his hand. What nerve did she have to invite him? He had thought he saw through her superficial cruelty. Thought he had seen who she really was but now he would not bet on it.

He smashed the door into the frame when he reached his home. No, she wasn't cruel. Not the person he loved so much. The person he knew.

Maybe she wanted him to be there for something stupid like old times' sake. But then again that wouldn't be her way of acting. Maybe she still wanted to talk to him. To explain him why she was doing this.

Again he felt rage build up inside him. It felt like something destroyed his organs slowly. He needed to do something.

He took a seat at the kitchen table and screened the document he got from Tsunade without any interest mumbling the important statements to himself: "§1 The independ policy... in case of... treaty breaks... §2... trade conditions... other nations... bonding between members... persons concerned do not need to convert... return to their village... given border... is not allowed... What?" His head jerked up rereading the.

"_I don't think that this will have a future. Why didn't you do something? Where is your damn plan?"_

"§4 The bonding between members of the villages are allowed. Bonding between shinobis are allowed for as long as one village will not receive disadvantage. In this case the persons concerned do not need to convert and both remain full members of their village. In case of an infringement of the contract the shinobis are to return to their village."

He sat slowly down again holding the sheets in his shivering hands. "This can't be."

He dropped the sheets and stared at them. "This can't be."

Fate was pushing him down with his cold hands. This couldn't be fair. This was not fair. "No." He hit the table with his fist hard enough for it to crack. "Why now?"

* * *

_He began to kiss her neck and nibbled at her earlobe. She pushed him slightly away. "Do you have a plan?"_

"_No, why? Do you have one?" He again started to attack her body with his lips making his way downwards._

_For Temari his treatment made the situation more difficult. She tried to push him away at least halfheartedly. "You're supposed to be the genius."_

This damn contract why haven't he seen it before? The wedding was the reason for the revision but maybe it could have been renewed before. Maybe the loop could have been there before. So simple. The genius felt like a fool.

"_You did nothing! And now you accuse me because we failed?!"_

He needed to do something. He had sworn himself not to give up on her. There might be a slight chance. The wedding wasn't performed yet. They could win.

For now he might have a plan.

* * *

"_You should know that a good ninja never reveals his plans."_

"_Yeah but that does not mean he really has one."_

No, there had to be a chance for them.

"_I'm getting married." _

This couldn't be the end.

Her voice still lingered on him like silk. He wouldn't give up that last spark of hope this time. _"I'll never let you go."_

_

* * *

_A/N: So what do you think? Was it too much of a retarding moment or did it fit? I know I should hate myself for being so cruel to them.  
For those of you who don't remember: Some of the flashbacks refer to the action in the past chapters. Hope it wasn't confusing. I've already done half of the next chapter so it won't be so long this time and there comes more action, finally. And now look under this note and you'll see in green letters what you should do.


	6. After Hope

A/N: Finally summer break! Now a short chapter with much emotion. Have fun.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and his characters.

* * *

Chapter 6: After Hope

_A plan..._

The color of Hope is green. That's what stroke Shikamaru's thoughts as he went through the crowd-like mass of trees surrounding him. Soon they would reach the desert where no tree grew. Leaders of Konoha as well as ambassadors and friends to the Sand accompanied him on his way to the great event held in Suna. He was walking along the path without being sure what would wait at the end.

_... a plan._

The sun was shining brightly through the lumps of leafs illuminating the path and disrupting the extent of the shadows. In the depth of the woods the bright green eclipsed, only the music of birds leaving a trace of life. Outside from the dark Shikamaru smiled.

* * *

In the Land of Wind the preparations for the great celebration were coming to an end. It was the celebration of the union of the Hidden Village of the Sand, the strongest force in the Land of Wind and the country's survain. It was the day everyone in Suna had waited for. But under all of the anxious and impatient people was one woman who wanted it to be quickly over - the bride.

Temari was already prepared on the outside. She wore her perfect dress and her appropriate make-up. Her hair was being fixed at the moment by one of the Daimo's maids. Until now nothing had occurred to disturb the wedding. The next step for her would be to perform the whole thing and get over with everything else.

A knock interrupted her process of thoughts. The door was slowly opened and the head of Kankuro appeared. "Hey. Can I come in?"

She nodded looking at the reflection in the mirror.

"The attendants of Konoha arrived."

Though hiding her emotions behind the mask of the beautiful bride, her brother was still able to see the flash of pain in his sister's eyes. No, she wouldn't ask for _him_.

"You don't have to do this."

"I think it is too late for that." She forced an indifferent look onto herself. The person reflected in the mirror was a foreign person but she would learn to live with her.

"You know, Gaara won't force this on you. Please, tell him you don't want this, Temari."

She turned her head towards him obviously showing her regret. "You know I can't."

Rubbing his forehead Kankuro sighed. "I hate that."

"Promise you won't tell Gaara."

Again he sighed dropping his shoulders obligingly. "Yeah. I have to go. Wish you never told me." He turned to the door sharing one last gaze with his sister. "And by the way, you look beautiful."

When the door was closed Temari mustered her own reflection again. Her hair was pulled up giving view on her shoulders and neckline. The dress underlined her figure but made her look angelic. She really looked stunning but she wasn't feeling like it.

Again the door was opened. "What now?" She looked at the reflection of the door not spotting her brother but a different person.

Shikamaru was standing there between the door frame wearing a tuxedo with the tie messily done.

After she swallowed the shock of seeing him she turned to the maid. "Would you leave the room, please?"

The surprised maid looked up. "But I don't think-"

"Now!"

Without another word the maid quickly escaped the room while Shikamaru stepped into it.

He wouldn't have believed that she could be more beautiful than she already was if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes. Nevertheless he sensed that something was amiss.

They mustered each other silently not moving an inch.

She stood up. "What are you doing here?"

He chuckled lightly. "Remember? You invited me."

His smirk irritated her. He shouldn't be happy when she wasn't. "To the wedding not to stalk into my room, Nara."

"Well, it was you who send that girl away." His smirk turned into a serious look and he stepped nearer to her. "I wanted to talk to you."

"After all the time you had? Now?"

"I have a plan."

She laughed. His self-confident smile was to much to handle. It was ridiculous. "What?"

"Will you listen to me?"

It was too much to handle right now. "Why?"

"Because there's a chance-"

"No! I mean why are you doing this? Why? We'd had our chance but we missed it. It is too late, Shikamaru. What do you want from me? What do you except? That I cancel this wedding and run away? That we can elope? That I turn away from my duty? That I lose the trust of my village? That I put shame on my brother?" Temari strongly articulated with her hands while her breathing became shallow.

"Temari-" Again he tried to step closer but she backed away.

"No, you listen! We have no time to share anymore so I'm going to make this quick." She was loosing control of herself. The control she protected these last months so dearly.

Shikamaru on his side couldn't help but to remain silent.

It was hard to look into his eyes. "We should let it rest. It had been a good time. Don't let us make hating each other. You must be honest with yourself. There might have been a chance for us but we let it skip. We both made our decisions and this is what I have to do now."

He looked at the ground trying to remember how this situation ended up here. A knock at the door interrupted their silence. Hissing Temari told the intruder that she'll be there right away before she turned her sorrowful gaze on him.

"Shikamaru, be honest with yourself if you really had wanted to, this plan of yours would have come up earlier. It was a nice dream we shared. Let it rest."

"I can't."

"Shikamaru-"

"No, now you listen to me." He stepped to her. "I kept telling myself the same things but I'll never be ready to make my peace with it. And if you'd be honest with yourself, you would admit that you feel the same and wouldn't shrug it of like a silly idea. I'm tired but I'm ready to fight again. We can fight for this." He grabbed her hands. "Wake up."

Only putting low effort into freeing herself from his grasp she ignored the eager knocking at the door. She tried to avoid his gaze. She knew it would feel as warm as his hands. "You shouldn't be here."

"You know, I think we both weren't utterly honest. We never let it become something real."

"What do you mean?"The door was opened.

"I never told you that I love you."

Frozen and lost. She felt someone pull her away as she stared at him. Her ears had to be bleeding.

He watched her being pulled into the church towards the aisle. It may have been too late but he had to tell her.

Their eyes lost the other. She was forced to go down the aisle and smile as if she would be happy marrying the wrong man. She had to play being happy when she was feeling anything but happy. Everything felt like a blur.

...wrong.

Shikamaru stood behind the aisle hiding in a corner feeling the numbness swallowing him. She promised herself to some other man. Everything was wrong. He was meant to stand over there. Instead he heard her speak not to him but to the Daimo. Her voice didn't waver and somehow she accomplished that he was again amazed by her - even now in this abstract situation.

... so wrong.

It was too late before she understood what she was doing. These inner-lies she had told herself weren't serving her anymore. She spoke the words and knew at the same time she couldn't keep this promise. Everything happened too fast.

"I do."

It was wrong.

The wall behind him didn't gave in no matter how hard he pushed himself into it. He wanted to vanish. She looked so beautiful. But the sight of her didn't make his vision indistinct watching as she sealed the marriage with the Daimo. The man that took her away from him. He needed to go. He needed some air.

Everything was so wrong.

The people gave their congratulations. Temari nodded politely feeling like vomiting. Her eyes searched for Shikamaru. She saw his shadow disappear at the other end of the aisle.

* * *

Hope is green. Hope is like a tree. A tree with strong branches holding the greenest leafs. The leafs fall like the little hopes until the green vanishes. The tree withers and rots.

Hope was such a fragile thing.

Nara Shikamaru wondered how many leafs are left to fall when the branch to hold them forsake.

When he reached the outside he stumbled being blinded by the bright sun. He stumbled and fell. He fell and hit the floor. It hurt.

* * *

A/N: I would like to have some reviews to this. Are you disappointed or did it touch you? Are you indifferent? Write whatever you like but please give me your opinion. I will continue this either way but with some reviews it is easier to know how good or bad I am.


	7. After Defeat

_A/N: Sorry folks for taking so long. I hope you can enjoy therefor the next chapter of Last night evenmore! And by the way: Happy Christmas!_

_(I disclaim Naruto.)_

_

* * *

_

Chapter 7: After Defeat

Fall had finally reached the Hidden Village of the Leaf cleaning the streets with its rain allying the damage made by the harsh summer sun. It felt like years had passed while just one season was replaced by the next.

Transitoriness.

* * *

"Ino came by the other day. She really seems to be happy with Choji. I can't believe they are engaged now. Why don't you look for a girl, Shikamaru? I saw some girls turning their heads after you and rumor has it that you're a rather good choice since you have a high position in Konoha's policy. Not to forget that you are the heir of one of the oldest clans here. You could easily get an appropriate wife if you put a little effort into it for once. Mrs. Haruno said the same the other day, not with this words exactly but she asked me when you'll choose to marry and I had to tell her that I don't know. People talk. You really should take a nice wife and settle down. I'm worried about you -"

Somehow he managed to ignore his mother's ranting while acknowledging his fathers tired gaze as they sat at the kitchen table. Both men sank deeper in their chair as Yoshino continued to talk. Sighing Shikamaru inspected the table's structure trying not to drift of into the marriage issue.

"Are you even listening?" Yoshino glared at her son.

Clearing his throat Shikaku sat strait up getting his wife's attention. "Yoshino, stop bothering our son. Let him make his own decisions. He is old enough."

"And he doesn't become any younger."

"It's still his life."

Yoshino stood up to collect the dishes. "Isn't it a mother's right to worry about her son's future? I won't interfere but I can give him piece of my mind."

Shikaku sighed also standing up to fill the sink with hot water. "Stop being troublesome."

Shikamaru flinched unnoticed by his parents.

_Troublesome woman_

Yoshino huffed nearly breaking the porcelein by dropping them into the sink full of water. "I'm just concerned."

"Like every good mother is but you always overdo things."

"I'm not -"

Shikamaru stood up fast hardly saving the chair from tumbling down. "Mum, Dad, I'm leaving. Thank you for the meal."

"But you-" Yoshino turned to her son who was not in sight anymore hearing the click of the door.

Both now concerned parents looked at each other sharing a glance of semi-wisdom.

* * *

Shikamaru left the Nara compound in a rush wearily noticing that he passed Choji who couldn't do anything but looking after him. How could he be able to pretend anymore, that he was happy for her when he was on the verge of breaking down? Thoughts were chasing Shikamaru no matter how long he went. Even in the smallest corner of his mind his memories found him.

"_I do."_

Her voice, it haunted him. He couldn't take it anymore. He felt like loosing his mind. It was worse than before. Maybe he had already lost it.

He hated it. Hated himself. Hated life.

Before he knew he was at the training grounds. He froze in panic-

"_I'm getting married."_

Here she came to him the last time to tell him that she will share her life with someone else. She won't come back. She had chosen against him. It had not been the arm of the wheel of fortune. She had had the choice. It had been her choice and she left him. He had told her he loved her and she had left to marry someone else. Married to help Suna, to strengthen the relationship between Suna and the Land of Wind. The way of a shinobi, her way as a kunochi. She won't come back.

Anger flashed through his body and he pounded on a tree. Never knowing he could feel such grief he wondered what he had become. She had changed him and now he couldn't go back. Why wouldn't this all stop? Life was a fight against himself and every day that he was expected to get up. He hated to feel. His chest was ready to burst. How he wished for his heart to turn into stone.

What powers that be enchained him to this insanity? Why couldn't he ignore this feelings until they vanished? Why couldn't he forget? Why couldn't it stop? When will this end? Will this ever end? He wanted to be released of this grab on him, her grab on him.

"_You must be honest with yourself."_

"Damnit!" He hissed at the sharp pain running through his fingers as he nearly crushed the tree. But the pain eased the agony.

Trapped. He was trapped captured in his own self, in a world he had fought for and had not been able to protect. She was in -

"Sensei?"

He snapped around finding his genins staring at him frightened. Shocked he looked at his bloody hands being ashamed that he scared this three still innocent kids. All of a sudden Daisuke came over to him smiling politely as ever. "Sensei. Tsunade-sama wants to see you."

Shikamaru nodded still feeling remorse. Arashi mustered him under her gaze while Takeru also came up to him. "Sensei, what are you doing? Don't you always tell us not to act mindless?"

Shikamaru had to chuckle. Somehow those children calmed him down. "Yeah, right. Good, Takeru."

"Sensei?" All three males turned to Arashi.

"Hn?"

She didn't blink. "Why don't you go to her?"

Startled Shikamaru was left speechless although his mouth hanged open.

"That woman. I saw how you looked at her and how she looked at you. Why don't you go after her?"

"_What if I have no strength anymore?_ "

He looked at his feet as the frustration crushed onto him again and pushed him into the depth. "It's complicated."

"Don't you always say that complicated is no obstacle?"

"_What if it never can be this easy? Would you reject me?" _

Shaking his head he fought hope that wanted to overwhelm him. "This is not the same. You're too young to understand."

Takeru jumped up and down. "Arashi is right. You always told us that it is worth fighting for someone, no matter what!"

Shikamaru was lost in thought until Takeru interrupted him. "If there is a chance you should try."

He looked at these young three kids who used his own words against himself, seeing Takeru grin, Daisku smiling and nodding while Arashi still pierced him with her gaze. "I have to go now."

* * *

"How is he?"

The white suit of the medic blended her. "He is stable again."

Somehow relieved she instantly turned around to go pass the news. "Keep me informed as soon as his state changes."

In her room she quickly scribbled a note on a paper and called for the messenger.

* * *

Finally arriving at the Hokage's office Shikamaru reached for the doorknob. Suddenly the door flung open with a grinning Naruto between the door frame. "Yo, Shikamaru!"

Shikamaru slowly nodded. "Naruto."

Quirking an eyebrow Naruto mustered him. "Are you alright?"

Before Shikamaru could respond Shizune stepped up. "Naruto, let's go. There is no time for this now. Shikamaru already arrived late." Shizune pushed him trough the door both leaving quickly while Naruto watched Shikamaru over his shoulder.

"Come in."

Turning away from the scene Shikamaru entered the office. "Hokage-sama."

After bending shortly down he came into view of Tsunade sitting behind many piles of documents. This strangely felt like a déjà vu.

She finally looked in his direction. "There you are."

"My genins didn't found me directly."

She nodded shortly without real interest. "I need you to travel to the Land of Wind as soon as you can."

After receiving a questioning look of Shikamaru she continued: "There was an attack at the Daimo. The attacker seemed to be a shinobi of Konoha. Judging from the description it was a missing shinobi. Still the accident caused a little tension and I want you to solve it."

He thought he was taken aback the last time he had talked to Tsunade. This last year of his life seemed to be full of surprises. Now he couldn't think of a logical reason why it would be him. "Understood. But why me?"

She stopped working and looked at him seriously. "Well you know the Daimo's wife very well so you can settle things."

Settle things? Her eyes shimmered with a meaning that Shikamaru couldn't read. Did she meant the relationship to Suna?

Before he could react Tsunade was working again like nothing had happened and hold a scroll out for him. "You have to report your arrival at the Kazekage's office. Take this letter and bring it to the Kazekage and let him give you further information on this issue. You may go now. "

"What do you mean?"

He grabbed the scroll and she didn't let go looking him directly in the eyes. Then she just smiled knowingly. "You're the genius."

Thousands of disordered thoughts stormed Shikamaru's head but they sourced and ended in one name:

_Temari_

* * *

"Konoha sends someone to solve this confusion. Maybe they'll help finding this shinobi." He reported to his mistress. Maybe he was mistaken but instead of being cold her eyes shined like he had never seen them before.

She nodded sternly. "You can go. Come to me again when the Daimo is awake."

He left wondering about his mistress' behavior.

As soon as the servant left Temari stood up and strolled through the room.

Being left with her thoughts she tried to restrain the flow of emotions which wanted to be let loose.

What if it was him?

No, she shouldn't be silly. What chance was there? She shouldn't let hope confuse her. There was no reason. Just her troublesome feelings. No, not troublesome. Annoying, disturbing. Anything but troublesome.

Frustrated Temari sat down onto her bed and looked at her fan. She hadn't used it since she was married. Again she fought the feeling of disappointment. She would not allow herself to regret her husband's survival. Instead she should be glad that he was alive. His death could have provoked a war before it could have been proven that it wasn't an assessment by Konoha. The tension was high enough now.

Taking her fan she wiped the small layer of dusk away. She had no duty anymore. She remembered the time when she had many missions and was respected. She had been honored with the position of an ambassador. Back then when she travelled through the green, shadowy woods to-

"_I love you."_

Not again. His words stabbed into her. She had to lean against the wall seeking for stabilization as her feeling overpowered her. He'd had no right to tell her this. He changed everything. It would have been different, wouldn't it? It should have been.

How she wished for him to be here.

_Shikamaru_

_

* * *

_

The leaves lay on the ground. The sun crossed the horizon where his sight was disrupted and cost long shadows. He was a shadow of himself and needed his light to lend him breath again. A shadow needs light to exist and he needed his sun. Shikamaru travelled faster than he had originally intended. Some power pulled him to Suna.

He knew she wouldn't be there. Her residence was in the depth of the Land of Wind, not far from Suna but still far enough for him.

When he had reached the brink of the desert on the second day, his hope had taken the better of him. His intuition told him that he would meet her. He knew it somehow. There was still the bond between them. A bond that was still strong and he couldn't help himself but believed in it. He couldn't take the agony anymore so he washed it away with the rest of hope he had even if it would rip him apart.

"_I'm sorry."_

In trance Shikamaru reached the gates of Suna being immediately welcomed by the guards and a guide. The last visit had been a sign of friendship between Suna and Konoha and this time he was here for stabilizing the alliance. Personally, he wished for the outcome to be better than last time.

After being officially greeted he was guided to the door to the Kazekage's room and the guide left him alone. Shikamaru stared a while at the door having been only once there before when Temari had been the ambassador and he had to accompany her on the way back to Suna. He wondered if he was now as welcomed as back he had been back then.

"Come in."

Gaara stood at the window which held the sight of the village in its frame. Shikamaru was again amazed by the sight. Suna was so different to Konoha. No matter the season it always looked the same. Immortality.

When Gaara finally turned around he wore a deep frown. Shikamaru bent down. "Kazekage-sama."

"You're fast."

"I came as fast as I could. I have a letter from the Hokage for you."

"Thank you." He took the letter looking briefly over the content and then fixed his eyes on Shikamaru again.

"I achieved the information that the envoy of Konoha has to apologize to the Daimo in person."

Shikamaru nodded briefly.

_Temari_

"We haven't found the assessor yet."

A little puzzled Shikamaru waited for further information. Had that been all?

"But we controlled the files and are certain that it had been a missing-nin." Gaara spoke in a tone of indifference.

What was going on? For what reason was he send to Suna? "Good."

"There is another favor I need to ask you."

Shikamaru nodded again repressing the urge to yawn.

"I need you to talk to Temari under the pretense of a mission."

Shikamaru blinked. "Pardon?"

"I haven't talked to her since the wedding. But Kankuro told me enough." Gaara stepped around the table dividing them.

Shikamaru controlled his muscles. He was tensed up to the point of pain.

"He told me that she isn't happy and that she didn't want the marriage in the first place. After I asked him what he meant he told me everything he knew." Gaara pierced him with his gaze. "I know about your relationship to her."

Even if he would have found words to respond he couldn't help but was silent. He would have to accept whatever was coming next.

"The Daimo doesn't treat her well and that is against our arrangement."

His arm twitched. His teeth hurt due to the intensive pressure.

"Just that you know. I would do anything for my sister to be happy, even kill him."

Both men shared a gaze of protective instinct for the person they cared about.

_Temari..._


	8. After Order

**A/N: It has been a little while since the last update. I hope you are able to come into it again. I would recommend to read the other chapters again so you'll understand everything in this chapter. So have fun reading.**

* * *

******Chapter 8: Aft**er Order

"_Why do they always send us together on missions?"_

"_I don't know. Maybe because our style of fighting matches." She eyed him suspiciously as he sighed. "But nevertheless. A mission is a mission and that's what we are here for."_

_The path was easy to pass. No complications had them surprised yet although they still had to be alert for enemies hiding in the woods. Even more in the night._

"_Hm." He watched her. She just looked ahead. Like always. She always acted this way. Never minding the things that lay aside the path of the shinobi she had chosen for herself. She would never take notice of him. Well and even if she did, it would not matter. Temari never failed a mission. If her morality could tolerate every action the mission required she would not abandon her duty. Shikamaru couldn't help but smile. It was this strenght she wore what made her attractive to him._

_

* * *

_

Memories. He had tried to banish them. But couldn't. So he learned to cherish them. Although they haunted him. He had to get along with them to prevent going mad. Well, maybe he was already insane. He loved to live in his memories. There they were together. He despised the harsh reality that nearly devastated him. He had wondered how to go on. Had layed so many nights awake not being sure how to live the next day.

Shikamaru went on, heading the same direction the wind drove. Sand splashed into his back. It wouldn't be long and he would reach his destination. He decided to rest for a while and eat something before continuing to travel. The nearer he came the more thoughts came running through his head.

Memories. The only thing left when everything else was gone. How could he dare to forget?

* * *

"_How come you've got genins assigned?"_ _She smirked her one and only Temari-grin leaning on the counter in his kitchen._

_He shrugged his shoulders."They didn't complain yet, so it's working well."_

"_You just dealt with them a week now. Just wait." She was folding her arms and raised an eyebrow._

_She was an expert at this stance. _

_He simply loved it. But he wouldn't show. Not to anyone. Not to her. "Okay, it is troublesome." He turned the fried eggs around. _

"_Hey, I don't like them like that!" She tried to steal the spatula but Shikamaru drew it back in time. _

"_Well, you should cook yourself if you want them different." He dodged another attack and faced her hiding the spatula behind his back._

_Of course being who she was Temari felt challenged and went for him jumping over the kitchen table but he again sidesteped. After a while she stopped chasing him to try another strategy. She pouted. "That's unfair. Since when do you take effort in anything?" _

_He didn't know either. "One doesn't always get what he wants that's life." He said this before she came on him again stealing the spatula with the eggs already burned._

* * *

He was getting near to the country estate. She would be there. He wanted her to be happy so he would stick to Gaara's plan and save her regardless whether they could be together again or not.

"_The Daimo doesn't treat her well and that is against our arrangement."_

Shikamaru was not sure if he would be able to fullfil Gaara's expectations. Maybe something will go wrong but even then he would rescue her. There was nothing to question about that.

The Daimo did not diserve her. He had laid hands on her and this was inacceptable for Shikamaru and gratefully for Gaara, too.

* * *

_They crossed the border between the Land of Fire and the Land of Wind. In the next day's time they would reach Suna. They decided to rest for the night._

_At the campfire Shikamaru turned to Temari. It suddenly hit him. "I'll never hurt you."_

_Because it came from out of nowhere and because they had rested in comfortable silence she hadn't expected him to talk all of a sudden. And she surely hadn't expected him to say something like this. Swallowing her surprise she managed to ask him what he meant. "What? Why are you saying this?"_

"_I just wanted you to know." He looked serious not turning his gaze away from her. _

_After her surprise turned into confusion and when her confusion transformed into gratification she smiled at him._

_He looked at her knowing deep inside it was a lie. The more you felt for somebody the more likely you were to hurt them. He wanted to be honest but it was easier to tell a lie than to tell her how he felt. It was the best he could do for both of them. Just holding this thing they had on a level so it went on and on._

_Although he knew it was without much doubt a lie he couldn't help himself, wouldn't help himself. But he would do everything to prevent her becoming hurt. He would give everything to avoid hurting her._

_He would do everything to turn the lie into truth. "We should get to rest." He yawned and folded his hands behind his head._

* * *

Shikamaru saw the city slowly crossing the horizon. He had never been there before but he knew that the only city as big as Suna in the desert was the residence of the Daimo. Slowly the city's walls towered above him. The shadow it spread over the sand towered over him. It guarded him from the cruel sun.

He could live with the feeling of dread coming over him. He would just act over it. It didn't matter.

The guards at the gates directed their weapons at him promising to shoot him in the instant it was commanded or if he would reach the gates without authorization. Both options weren't to his liking but he slowed down until he seemed to stroll. Outside of the gates a person already waited for him to let him authorizise. Shikamaru told him who he was and that he was ordered to come here to solve the problem with the missing-nin. Even if he was a strong fighter and trained to negotiate he felt relief roll over him as he was let in.

He finally passed the gate. "Troublesome."

* * *

"What do you want?"

The servant was frightened of his mistress. "There is a shinobi from Konoha waiting outside asking for your audience. He says he is sent from the Kazekage to solve the case of-"

"Let him in."

The servant bowed before leaving the room.

After a while the door opened and the servant came in again.

"What now?" Her sharp voice nearly pierced him.

The servant cleared his throat nervosly hoping for his mistress' patience. "Um... He wants to know if it is okay if he puts effort in the case?" Then something strange happened with his mistress. One moment she seemed vulnerable. Her whole feature softened before she turned away from him.

"Tell him just to come in." Her voice was barely a whisper.

The servant left wondering what was going on. He went to the man leaning at the wall opposite his mistress' room trying to figure out if they knew each other and with what this strange man who was yawning for the second time he saw him could threaten his mistress.

It was nearly amusing how the servant watched him after he audibly silenced Temari. Before her harsh voice could be clearly heard from where he was standing. Shikamaru had instantly known that this was the way she always dealt with her servants. Never showing anyone any weakness. Even more because of her being subordinate under the Daimo. He probably shoudn't have played with her resistance to indulgence but he had figured he should give her a warning that he was the shinobi that has been send.

Before going into that room he took a big breath. It was time to confront her as someone else's wife after such a long time.

Temari told herself to regain composure. There was no other opportunity to deal with this carefully than to remain unaffected. Even if only on the outside.

He came in seeing her back turned towards him. Maybe because she knew it was him and that she could easily trust him or maybe because she had to straighten up after she had come to known that it was him. Nevertheless what mattered was that she knew it was him and he had to be cautious.

When she turned around her eyes met that of Shikamaru.

All intentions were gone.

* * *

_Sometimes it felt like seeing for the first time when she watched him._

_She never had known such feelings to exsist. Never would have dared to think about her feeling so deeply for somebody. At such times when he lay besides her she wanted to embrace the whole world. This had to be insanity. The world wasn't a nice place. Deep down Temari knew she shouldn't dream of a nice future with him where she would lay every morning besides him sleeping peacefully. _

_She shoudn't, when the world outside was a battlefield._

_Was this not the purpose she had been born into the world to become a powerful kunoichi? She was raised not to let emotions get hold of her. Why were the people in Konoha so different?_

_He wouldn't understand that she would prefer to sacrifice herself for her country rather than to anything else. So why was she still there? Why did she come here at every possible option?_

_It had to be madness. But still she couldn't help but feel like she never saw before. Like an artist who searched his whole life to draw his masterpiece not knowing he already had made it but didn't see._

_She learned to see the world through his eyes. She got to know the world differently. It was not only a harsh place were only the strongest survived but a place were she could watch the rain outside and snuggle up to his warm body._

* * *

Temari tried to blink away the memories rushing through her head. Annoying how they seemed to come back at a time where she didn't need emotions to overcome her. She had made her decision back than and she couldn't turn back time.

Composure. "I thought Konoha would send an Anbu. Since when do they send a simple Jounin?"

Shikamaru shrugged ignoring the little insult.

Temari sighed inwardly trying to hold on to the little composure that was left infront of the man she just wanted to be with. "Well, normaly I wouldn't greet somebody in my room when it comes to business but since you are already here I think it is best for us to stay."

He stayed indifferent. She couldn't find a trace of emotion roll up into his eyes, not like the last time he spoke to her.

"_You know, I think we both weren't utterly honest. We never let it become something real."_

"_What do you mean?"The door was opened. _

"_I never told you that I love you."_

She closed her eyes pressing her lips together and wondering if the same pictures dwelt up in him.

Shikamaru on his side was very much taken by the same memories. He watched her. This time he wouldn't rush things. He would stay alert and give her enough time to handle the situatuion. He knew she needed this. Her resolve would not break automatically.

She opened her fierce eyes. She leaned at the table behind her crossing her arms. "So how do you want to deal with this matter?"

Shikamaru only raised an eyebrow amused how she fought herself.

She wanted to punsh him. He just stood there watching her with this look of estimation. How the hell was she supposed to deal with this.

He saw anger fill her eyes. That was what he wanted. This little trait of her character. She was still very much the same Temari, although she tried to hide her feelings. He smiled, irritating her even more. "Well, first of all I will provide information of the missing-nin and after that I will hunt him. When I've found him he gets his punishment." He leaned his head to the side. "You know the standard procedure."

A thought struck Temari and she knew he was playing with her. He seemed to be very self-confident mocking her but she would not loose the fight he provoked. She knew him to well. "And where do you think will you obtain information?"

Shikamaru pondered a little on the question. She wouldn't throw him out of the city, would she? She was the Daimo's wife and had to engage someone to find the attacker. Probably she knew he was provoking her. He suppressed a smile. "Well, obviously the first point where to obtain data would be this residence." He walked a little towards her.

Was her trying to make her nervous? She couldn't help but liked his little mind-games. "Well, I hope then you are as good as an Anbu would be so this won't take to long."

He grinned at her perfect scowl but spoke with a sincere voice. "I'll try my best not to disappoint you."

Totally lost in the game both were forgetting that he really was on a mission and that he was here in the first place because of the state of her husband.

Temari felt herself flooded with excitement. It had been a while since she felt like this the last time. She took a few steps towards him so that they both were in the middle of the room only a few steps apart. "Well obviously you will need a place to stay then."

He smirked. His dark eyes that had been dull these past months were now filled with a sparkle. "Obviously." He stepped a little closer to her and wanted to add something but she was faster.

"I will ask my servant to show you a suitable hotel." She now grinned at him because she knew he was lost for words.

He chuckled and considered to give up but instead he decided to end this game and closed the distance between them. "I have a better suggestion." In one sweep motion he swept her into his arms and kissed her.

She could have dodged in time. She was a kunoichi after all. But she had yearned so much for this to happen that she couldn't bear to turn away. Every emotion that she had locked up insider her seemed to stream out and every fibre of her body shook with this rush. Eargerness, Wanting, Longing, Passion, Desperation, Love.

He hadn't known that there could be absolution for the grief and agony he had experienced these past months or where it years? It didn't matter at that moment. He had all that he needed. He felt like all his wounds closed and she was now stroking his heart. Before he had thought they would consume each other in a fit of passion and arousal in little time but now he was standing there with her in his arms, feeling no need to break the sweet surrender to his love for her. He felt as if she spoke the same language as he tried to tell her how much he loved her through the kiss.

A knock on the door had her jump backwards with Shikamaru standing there perplexed.

"Temari-sama? Is everything alright?"

She cleared her throat dreading not to be able to speak at all. "Yes."

A moment passed in which the servant seemed to value the truth. "Are you sure?"

Trying to sound harsh Temari answered loudly. "Yes. Go away now!"

Somehow he felt a little embarrassed. They both had let go and had fallen into this emotional fever before it was crushed down. He looked around her room and instantly sighted the only noticable decoration in the room – a solely cornflower. "You still have the cornflower I gave you?" He turned around instantly caught in her teal eyes.

She had tried to shield herself after this incident building up the emotional wall around her but there it was again. This rush of emotion just by looking into his eyes. She made another attempt to distance herself from him. "It is dried so it is very breakable." They both looked at the flower. "I looked up its meaning." She looked at him but immediately turned away. "Cornflowers cannot grow in this area."

He knew what they meant and therefore he knew what she was hinting at and shrugged. "You just need this one."

"The servant will show you your room." Temari turned to her table and wrote a note which she gave him begging him silently to go.

Shikamaru did what she wanted him to and left the room. But he felt not disappointed. He meant what he said. It was the only cornflower that she needed. Because he gave it to her. Because it meant he will never give up hope.

* * *

**A/N: I looked up the meaning of Cornflowers on german. In english it means delicacy but if you look up Bachelor Button Flower, which is another expression for cornflower, you'll find it means hope in love. I hope you liked it and are anxious.**

**How did you like it?  
**


	9. After Reunion

**A/N: **I wanted to publish this months ago but the Doc Manager didn't work and I forgot... But here it is! And again I hope you like it.

**Chapter 9: After Reunion**

Nara Shikamaru ran back and forth to find out who this missing shinobi was that had attacked the Daimo of the Land of Wind and where he might have gone to. He interviewed people, examined the residence's architecture and possible ways to escape. Problem was there was no obvious way to escape. The chambers of the Daimo were in the middle of a labyrinth that this building formed with just two entrances and the balcony of the Lady's chamber. Moreover the place was stuffed with security and servants. And so far his interviews had only resulted with the information that nobody had seen anything suspicious. Only one maid thought she might have seen a missing shinobi of Konoha but couldn't remember what he looked like exactly. She had told him that she only remembered the cut through sign of the Leaf he wore. Before the attack she just had assumed that she was tired and therefore imagined things when she had seen the silhouette in front of her Lady's room. But the possibility to go through the Lady's chambers was also unlikely because the assassin had to cross Temari. Never mind the fact that he would have gone a long way to make it to the Daimo's chambers from there but Shikamaru shivered at the thought what the intruder would had ended up with all her frustation. So maybe the maid had been very tired and had imagined things. Who knew if there really was the sign of the Leaf or if she had associated it with something else.

Strolling through another hallway in another wing of the building Shikamaru wondered if he should dare to interview Temari. Certainly, the assassin could not have passed Temari unnoticed but what if she was not there at the moment of his infiltration. Then again: Where the hell should she have gone to at that particular moment and how would he had known that Temari had not been there? Maybe he should just ask if she had been in her chamber or not. It was not of his business where she had gone to. She wouldn't have a lover of something. She was too decent and it would cross her sense of betrayal against her husband. He knew. But still the thought itched in his guts. He sighed after nodding to another servant that crossed the too long and too bright hallway. He wondered how someone was supposed to live here. It felt like there was no end and no destination in this place.

He hadn't met Temari again since the day of his arrival. Giving her some distance and not to dwell on their encounter was his goal. He figured she would show him the cold shoulder if he appeared too enthusiastic about that last incident between them. That kiss after a refreshing mind game between the two of them. He trusted her to come to him when she was ready. That was the plan and he would just stick to it by making his job. This meant identifying and finding this missing shinobi and then taking care of him. And then? Well, he knew it was a lot to ask if they could ever be together. Hope was such a dreadful thing. Letting you seek for things you will never achieve or making you believe in things that cannot exsist. But still -

Shikamaru sighed. Who would have thought him to make such an effort. If he would have been told ten years earlier that he would risk everything he had for a woman, he would have sneered or simply shrugged, whatever was easier. However...

If he really thought about it, there wasn't much to loose. What did he have? What had he ever been before her? He should have fought earlier for them. If he had just known that her brothers knew and there was a way to overcome the political struggle. He officially hated the word "if".

He tightly grabbed the folder he took with himself to go and continue asking around if anybody saw that shinobi. This residence was big enough for someone to get lost. It seemed like all the things that the poor didn't have where gathered at this place. Fancy big hallways led to even bigger and more fancy rooms. Although Temari was the Kazekage's daughter and had been raised in a bigger house than most people, Shikamaru knew that she couldn't like this place. You felt like being a stranger everywhere you could go to. It wasn't home.

But then again. The idea of home was a little abstract and he wasn't able to name his apartment a home since he resided there more than he lived there this past year.

It somehow unnerved him that he hadn't seen Temari for two days. He had not wanted to disturb her when he was just someone to find the shinobi that attacked her husband. Well or so it should seem to all the people who saw him. She would have more of a reason to call on him because she was the one with authority.

Shikamaru sighed. He had to stay focused. His overrunning mind was always drifting away from the topic. Missing shinobi. The incident had happened 12 days ago. That meant the guy could be everywhere by now. Plus it seemed like there was nothing unusual about the day as it passed on. Other than the one maid who might had caught a glimpse on the assassin and believed he wore the Leaf's symbol no one seems to have seen anything helpful. So maybe he should figure out how this guy was able to infiltrate the building without being noticed by all the guards and the servants. Somehow this actually seemed like a clue. But how should he get along with it.

Absentmindedly Shikamaru scratched his neck. "What a drag."

A chuckle threw him back to reality like a lash of the whip. He turned around knowing she was standing behind him. How long she had been there was mysterious to him but he was relieved to hear this noise from her again. "Long time not seen."

She looked directly at him. Temari was not someone to look away when forced onto the defensive. "I had to ruminate about some little things."

He wondered if he should ask about these little things but was not fast enough.

She was faster with questioning. "So, now tell me why would my brother send you of all people?"

He shrugged. "Seems like he hadn't informed you."

She raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "No he hasn't but this does not answer my question."

"Well you cannot blame me. I was assigned to this mission and I wasn't overzealous about this either." At first.

"Hm." She seemed to consider the odds for a moment and nodded. "Maybe an Anbu would have solved the problem by now." Her eyes glintered with challenge. He couldn't think of the time he had last seen her like that.

Shikamaru looked around. They were still in the hallway where everybody could hear them if they happened to pass by so he had to deal with her teasing him. He needed to be casual. His throat became dry and he tried to clear it. "How is your husband?"

Like being slapped she replied emotionless."He is still in coma."

He figured she didn't want to talk about her comatous husband so he just shrugged continuing the way down the hall knowing she would follow.

And she did follow him, piercing him with her eyes. "How are your genins?"

Now she was also into small talk but he knew as soon as they reached save ground she would talk about the thing she intended to. "You know, like always growing up to become strong shinobis." He sighed. "Well, Takeru is really wild and enthusiastic as ever, he sometimes reminds me of Naruto. Daisuke still is very shy and quiet but has a strong personality and has become very brave. Well and Arashi seems to be more wise for her age than seems to be good for herself. On the whole they are one hell of a team."

Temari stopped, crossing her arms and cocking her head wearing a smirk on her lips. "Well, just look at their proud sensei." She said in a mocking tone.

He had not noticed the smile that lingered on his lips when he talked about his genins until she teased him. He blushed a little and forced himself not to freak out.

Finally they reached her chambers which where empty right now. He saw her crossing the room opening the door on the balcony to let the wind sweep fresh air into the room. While she was tending to the perfectness of her room his gaze drifted over the small amount of decoration and even her possession seemed small unless she had an own room for all that stuff. Again his gaze stopped at the dried cornflower which meant so much to him.

Temari cleared her throat to get his attention back. Then she looked at the floor as if she lost something on the ground that she couldn't seem to find. Nevertheless she regained her composure looking him straight into the eye."There was one other question I needed to ask."

Shikamaru listened even more up. That tone of hers. It sounded rare, somehow nervous and insecure. He straightened himself for whatever was coming next. He supposed one wouldn't have recognized it, if he didn't knew her so well as he did.

She gazed at him. Trying to pierce him with her eyes. "What was your plan back then?"

He knew what she referred to but couldn't materialize the power to tell her. After all it was a waste of power, wasn't it? "It doesn't matter anymore." He blinked away all the despair and tried to shrug it of.

"Well I'd like to know so it matters for me."

On the outside she seemed patient but he knew inside her there was fire brooding, ready to consume him if needed. He saw it in her stance, in her eyes, in every little hint that might have been ignored by the average observer.

She slightly shifted from one leg to another. Probably she felt him examining her.

Shikamaru sighed finally to respect her wish although it didn't feel right to tell her it this way. He walked all around the room to get his head clear while he pulled those words for her together. "The new contract between our villages says that a relationship between members of both countries has no influence on the policy. They don't have to convert or something. Only in terms of war the shinobis are to return to their rightful country."

She swallowed. "So?"

He turned around to face her."I wanted to ask if you would marry me."

She sank on a chair. Obviously shocked. Then her chest choke with some funny noices and ended up in a short chuckle. "That's ridiculous."

He shrugged of the pain that stung when she said this. "It didn't happen."

She nodded shortly.

Time passed he was still observing her from the other side of the room feeling again a wave of grief rushing over him. She still sat on the chair staring off into space. After a while he felt it was time for him to leave. Not only not to raise any suspicions about the Lady's visits but also because he felt like drowning right now and he wanted this stream of depression to be compressed again. He figured she needed time on her own, too. He turned to the door. But he stopped when he heard her voice barely above a whisper transferring much the same emotions he felt right now.

"Are we really going to leave this way?"

His eyes searched the ground as his mind searched for answers. He shook his head drooping. "Problem is, we left this a year ago." With that said he left her room. He didn't want her to see his sorrow and he didn't want to see her pain either.

* * *

Shikamaru didn't mean for the memories to come back so hauntingly again. He didn't knew himself anymore. He leaned against the wall at his bed starring at the ceiling. Why? Why had he ever felt any hope? She said it herself. This was ridiculous. She was married and although her husband was now in coma it just wasn't to be. He had missed his chance back when he was to blind to see what he was feeling. He had missed his chance when she was about to marry and now there wasn't even a chance. They couldn't start an affair. It wasn't as if they could see each other again in a short time.

He remembered when he wanted to tell her about his plan. When he encountered her on her wedding day in her chamber. And what he also remembered with a bitter taste was that she made right clear where they stood now.

* * *

"_I have a plan."_

"_What?"_

"_Will you listen to me?"_

"_Why?"_

_"Because there's a chance-"_

"_No! I mean why are you doing this? Why? We'd had our chance but we missed it. It is too late, Shikamaru. What do you want from me? What do you except? That I cancel this wedding and run away? That we can elope? That I turn away from my duty? That I loose the trust of my village? That I put shame on my brother?" Temari strongly articulated with her hands while her breathing became shallow._

"_Temari-" Again he tried to step closer but she backed away.  
_

"_No, you listen! We have no time to share anymore so I'm going to make this quick." _

_Shikamaru on his side couldn't help but to remain silent._

"_We should let it rest. It had been a good time. Don't let us make hating each other. You must be honest with yourself. There might have been a chance for us but we let it skip. We both made our decisions and this is what I have to do now."_

_He looked at the ground trying to remember how this situation ended up here. A knock at the door interrupted their silence. Hissing Temari told the intruder that she'll be there right away before she turned her sorrowful gaze on him._

_"Shikamaru, be honest with yourself if you really had wanted to, this plan of yours would have come up earlier. It was a nice dream we shared. Let it rest."  
_

* * *

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He was still staring at the ceiling noticing that the sunlight had gone and the moon now cast long shadows in the room, Before he could help it he snickered about the irony. Resting in the shadows seemed to be his destiny. He only broke out of his state of depression when the knock appeared again this time more urgently.

* * *

She didn't knew what came into her.

"_You know, I think we both weren't utterly honest. We never let it become something real."_

He was right. They never had let it become something real. When they were together they were not honest to each other and to themselves. This is why they let their chance skip away. How cruel it was that she has now just realized what he meant. She had ignored their possibilities not only in fear of the consequences and obstacles but also in fear of her own emotions. When it had become to hard to leave after the last night they shared, when she yearned for his embrace, she had run away. It had been easier to tell herself it was her duty to do everything for the behalf of Suna. Even to sacrifice herself to a very unhappy marriage.

But still she didn't knew why she was here. It seemed like her feet dragged her forward. Like this really was what she really wanted.

Somehow she was enveloped by hope. It was ridiculous. But still...

She knew what the cornflower he gave her symbolized. She didn't knew back then what it meant and if he himself knew it. Last time she told him that the cornflower he had given her is very breakable because it was dried and that its kind cannot grow in this area but he had replied that she would just need his.

Temari felt a faint smile at the corner of her lips. He was always so smart with his replies and so often right. The cornflower he had given her meant that he will never abandon hope.

And now Temari was on her way to him.

* * *

"Come in." Shikamaru straightened himself and watched the door open.

The person in the hallway cleared his throat. "I'm sorry to interrupt. A missing ninja was sighted nearby."

Shikamaru jerked his head up. "Where?"


	10. After Reticence

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

A/N: I had this finished a year ago. Sadly I simply could not upload it. I'm sorry. Hope you still like the story.

* * *

**Chapter 10: After Reticence**

Temari headed for his room passing a servant who bowed in front of her. She didn't mind it anymore by now that nobody was allowed to treat her like a human here. Now she just wanted to deal with him and give him a piece of her mind,

When she reached his room she caught him in the process of packing. A feeling of panic suddenly rushed trough her. "Where are you going?"

Shikamaru turned around obviously surprised to see her. "I have to check something in a village nearby." He continued packing as if she wasn't standing right behind him.

She rolled her eyes when she saw him throwing neatly folded clothes absentmindedly into the bag on the chair. Temari let her gaze leave him and swift around the room. They could have assigned a better room to a representative of Konoha but the people here were skeptical and didn't trust foreigners so they didn't treat them well. She would make sure that he would get a nice room instead of this sparely furnished broom closet.

Her thoughts were interrupted when he closed his bag just to unzip it again. He opened another drawer seemingly ignoring her.

She stood with her hands on her hips. "Well? Care to tell me what exactly you're up to?"

He sighed and threw a hairbrush into the bag. "If you must know I'm doing my duty."

She raised a curious eyebrow. The tone in which he sat that was a little snappy. "Which means?"

He sighed, again placing a bottle into the bag. "A missing shinobi was sighted and now I'm going to look for him. See if I capture him. Then interrogate him."

Temari nodded determined confirming to herself her decision. "I'm coming with you."

He snapped around. "Pardon?"

She had already turned to the door and looked at him over her shoulder. "Are you deaf? I said I'm coming with you."

He shook his head. "I don't think this is appropriate in your position."

She shrugged. "And I don't care."

He snickered. "Isn't your political position otherwise always the most you care about?"

Again he had a snappy tone. She turned towards him and crossed her arms. "Look I am not going to argue about this with you. I'm coming with you and that's it. Face it."

He sighed closing his bag. "Troublesome."

* * *

She had just scolded her maids not to reveal her disappearance to her husband if he would wake up when someone knocked at her door. She sent her maids away packing the last bit she needed on her journey. Why she was on her way to go with Shikamaru to find this rouge she couldn't pinpoint. But she just wished for this chance to travel again and be a kunoichi again so that it didn't matter to her with whom she traveled and what reason for.

The door opened with Shikamaru in the frame. He didn't come in.

Temari nodded in his direction while packing a scroll into her bag. "I'm ready to go."

He scratched his neck. "Are you really sure that this is okay? I mean you are the Daimo's wife and he is in coma so aren't you the one in charge."

She blinked somehow stupefied at his statement before she broke out into a short fits of laughter. Amused about his presumption. When she calmed down she smirked in a contrite way at him. "You don't seem to know the role of a wife here in the Land of Wind. In Konoha things are much more different than here. I'm just a wife as in dame or shrew. I just have the function of good looking and smiling the whole time at social events as well as nodding at every single comment of every apple-polisher regardless how stupid and aggravating it is."

He didn't move as if being thunderstruck before a shadow seemed to pass his eyes and he narrowed his head clenching his fists at his side. She thought he would explode before he was able to ignore his personal feelings and deal with the matter at hand. Like he always did. He stayed controlled when it came to personal feelings. She supposed she was one of the few persons he had allowed to sneak a glance at his passionate side that would risk everything for someone he cared for in trouble even if he had low chances. "So who is in charge then?"

She shrugged still wearing that smile filled with bitterness. Who cared about what her personal feelings where? Yes in this hierarchy she was just a trophy symbolizing the power of the Daimo over the shinobis. "Naturally the closest related male controls from somewhere within the country every incident, his brother."

She thought she saw something flash in his eyes. Temari knew he looked like this when he had an idea. "So what happens if..." He stepped inside the room closing the door. "So what happens if the Daimo dies?"

Temari considered his curiosity to be very interesting. Somehow she loved watching him become eager. This change of his lazy attitude to a stern person with confident appearance. "What is this another clue to solve the riddle who might have wanted the Daimo dead?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. Just answer the question."

She turned around to look outside the window. The sun would rise again in an hour. They didn't need to hurry until then. "The brother will become the next Daimo if the Daimo passes away and has not begotten a son who is by the time of his passing older than nine years old."

Shikamaru stood there his mouth agape. "Holy shit! Your country really works on old fashioned rules."

Temari raised a delicate eyebrow at his choice of words and snickered at him. "I thought you considered yourself to be old fashioned and conservative."

"Then I'll correct myself and say 'ancient rules'." He chuckled shortly.

She couldn't help but smiled at him. He always tended to behave like in old man but was able to transform into a charming, witty young boy, an character trait he ironically developed as he had grown older. She shook her head trying to focus again on the subject of their talk. Then she shifted her weight from one leg to the other. "So does this information help you?"

He closed his eyes in thought and stroke his chin with one hand. "Maybe. But why should someone send a missing ninja of Konoha to kill the Daimo if he wants the brother to become the next Daimo. Alas -"

She instantly knew what he was thinking. "Alas it wasn't a missing shinobi from Konoha but someone in disguise."

He nodded. "Hm."

* * *

Their travel wouldn't take long. There weren't many dunes on their way and the wind was generally calm in this region. Soon they would reached the village where the missing shinobi was sighted. They had to be cautious to find him without being themselves detected, Shikamaru didn't wear his vest and headband so he wouldn't be recognized to be a shinobi from Konoha. He just wore his black shirt. Why for god sakes did she found him so attractive?

He interrupted her thoughts."So this village is directly under the control of the Daimo?"

Temari nodded staring up ahead. "Yeah Oashisu is one of the villages to provide the residence with food. Also it is one of the main suppliants for trades."

He stared at her.

She began to feel uncomfortable. "What?"

Shikamaru looked away smirking. "I'm sorry. It's only that you look funny with the hood and all."

She herself was disguised so that people wouldn't wonder about the Daimo's wife passing their grounds. She wore a frock with a hood under which she had left her hair unbound. "Not everyone can look so careless and casual as you do."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. A sign that he accepted the challenge. "I do?"

She sweetly smiled at him. "Yeah."

"Well, at least I don't appear so unemotional, strict and uptight as someone else does." He smirked at her.

She had to prevent herself from laughing and controlled her facial expression to show him her I-don't-care-face. "I prefer down-to-earth, keen and confident."

"Yeah you do." He overemphasized the words.

It felt great mocking him. Hell, it even felt great to be mocked by him. They behaved like in old times before she left him. Which she regretted. Now.

Shikamaru groaned. "I think I will get sunburned if the sun continues to burn like this. How troublesome."

Fortunately he interrupted her thoughts again before they drifted to far away. He was right the sun was really harsh today due to the fact that there were almost no clouds shielding the sun. She watched him poorly trying to wave some air with his hand. "Who's laughing now? I'm save from the sun."

"Very funny," He seemed to have given up his efforts to save his skin when she handed him cloak she had hidden in her bag. Putting it on he nodded a thank you. "So you said the town replies the Daimo's residence. How come?"

She noticed his interested stare. "Well, Oashisu speaks for itself. It is an oasis. It is one of the few cities that border at some source of water in the Land of Wind which allows the people to establish agriculture here. So they supply other cities with food."

He nodded. A sign that he understood. "Yeah I've noticed sometime I was in Suna that enough water is pumped from the underground but that there are only few greenhouses to supply the whole city."

Temari's gaze drifted to the sky. The clouds were rare cutting the sky in their length. When would it rain again? "That's correct. We also have to rely on cities like Oashisu. But Gaara negotiated with the Daimo for years to invest more into agriculture. As you cleverly noticed we haven't got enough greenhouses. But we still lack the capital to support building more. Therefore we thought the marriage would help to persuade the Daimo and to establish a better relationship between the state and the cities. However..." That didn't work and it wouldn't. She knew now the Daimo was a man who didn't care for his people as long as their cries for help weren't to loud.

Shikamaru huffed. "So you voluntarily chose to become an instrument for this idea."

She stared at the way ahead. She wouldn't waver. Not because of him. "If the agriculture is improved a little than we can prevent many people from poverty and economic utilization. Especially towns like Oashisu which are without their own shinobis have low power to defend themselves against the strong will of the state. You'll see what I mean. And you'll understand."

"Maybe you're right." He stopped walking. "Maybe I just don't want to accept why it has to be you." He watched her closely as the wind shoved the hood against her cheek.

She wondered since when he wore his heart on his sleeve."I can't change the fact I'm the fourth Kazekage's daughter and the Fifth's sister."

He nodded staring at the ground.

She began walking again trying to ignore the echo of his words in her heart. "We are nearly there. Lets go."

He stayed in this position staying silent, After a while he followed her. "Why would someone live in the desert anyway? It is too troublesome." He kicked the sand below his feet.

* * *

The town was as she remembered. The inner cycle the town itself was surrounded by wide fields, where crops and vegetables were grown. Everybody worked on the field working as a hard as they could to get paid enough. Even children. As they passed the outskirts of the town people stopped working. They watched them nervously, some suspiciously. She knew why. They couldn't afford being robbed. She watched Shikamaru. He was staring back probably lost in thoughts. This wasn't a good point to start an interrogation. Maybe if the people inside the town saw that they didn't steal anything, they would speak.

The ground of the town was dry. Piles of sand were everywhere being a proof that the care for the town itself was neglected to often in favor of the fields that were too big for the number of people working. The smell of soup crossed their way. In the houses the meals were prepared and the streets were almost empty. From an open window one could hear soft humming. Maybe they should eat something to. There was one tavern in town .She motioned for Shikamaru to follow her.

When they crossed the center they passed the marketplace. There the traded goods from other towns were sold. Temari remembered that the tavern was on the right side of a fountain and was glad when she spotted it.

She knew Shikamaru noticed as well as her that someone followed them. She pretended to stop casually to watch a bird and saw that it was a little boy hiding behind a tree. Shikamaru continued walking grabbing her hand to pull her along. Suddenly the boy leaped at him yelling. Shikamaru blocked the boy falling with him into the fountain. When Shikamaru appeared again at the surface he was angry as hell. The boy didn't stand a chance at his attempt to flee. Faster than a human his shadow expanded and grabbed the boy at the collar. "What the hell was that?"

"I'm sorry mister. I thought you are somebody else."

"The heck you thought I was somebody else." He pulled with another sling of shadow the purse out of the boys grab. "And why then did you steal my purse?"

Temari never saw him this angry. But when tears started to pour down the boys face his own softened. He let the boy down and waited for him to calm down. Temari crossed her arms.

Shikamaru loosened his wet ponytail that hung low reminding her of how she had loved to run her fingers through his soft hair.

"I was hungry." The boy sobbed into his sleeve.

Shikamaru rubbed the back of his head. "Where are your parents?"

"I've lost my parents. I have no home"

Temari shifted her weight. "Can't someone take you in?"

The boy shook his head. Then he jerked his head at Shikamaru. "Maybe you can take me in?"

Shikamaru laughed. "I'm sorry. But I can't do that." He cleared his throat when he saw the boy's gaze becoming icy. "How about you come with us to eat something in the tavern first? What is your name by the way?"

"I'm Senshou."

Shikamaru grabbed the boys hand. "I'm Shikamaru."

* * *

The boy ordered Miso soup and Dango. Temari remembered when her brother Kankuro was his age and used to eat as much as the boy did now. Unknown to her she smiled freely which was watched with a smile from her neighbor.

The boy finished his meal and obviously observed them. "I didn't knew I attacked a shinobi."

Shikamaru sighed. "You shouldn't attack anybody."

The boy shrugged his shoulders. "Easier said than done. I don't want to starve, you know?"

Shikamaru tapped his fingers on the wooden table. "Maybe if I speak to the people?"

Senshou shook his head. "That won't work." He bowed more into Shikamaru's direction. "So why can't you take me in? I can work hard and will not complain. Don't you like children or do you already have enough?"

"I like children and no, actually I don't have any children and probably won't."

Temari had watched the conversation silently. Trying not to reveal to much of her identity she wanted to engage herself into the conversation when it was important. Now she saw the boys critical gaze shift onto her. "Why? Can't your wife become pregnant?"

Shikamaru winced. "Actually she's -"

Temari placed a hand on his shoulder intervening in his negation. Pretending to look softly at him to show him that this can be used as camouflage.

Shikamaru cleared his throat. His gaze placed on her he looked deeply into her eyes. "Actually it is my fault it didn't work."

The boy grinned showing his teeth. "I''m sure it will work someday."

Temari raised an eyebrow. Ignoring the possible interpretation of the boy's sentence. If he knew... She heard Shikamaru cough beside her and moved a little more towards the boy. "Say I wanted to ask you something." She pulled the picture of the missing nin out of her pocket to hold it under his nose. "Have you seen this man?"

The boy's eyes widened. He snapped his head aside and negated the question. "No, I've never seen this man."

Temari shifted closer to him. Piercing him with her eyes. Smelling that he probably hasn't had a shower for days. She need to seem intimidating. "I know you are lying. Where is that person?"

Senshou nodded towards the bar where a while ago stood the bartender and tavern's owner.

Before Temari could react she saw Shikamaru rush through the still swinging door.

She didn't find him and she couldn't find the bartender. She waited for him with Senshou at her side. He told her how he had seen one evening the man perform a jutsu before he transformed into the person on the picture. He tried to follow him but wasn't fast enough. Senshou thought he wasn't seen and only on the very next day he saw the bartender again. He didn't tell anybody. When the news spread that the Daimo had been attacked by a missing shinobi from Konohagakure he tried to tell people but they didn't believe him. After all he was an abandoned child without parents who would do anything for a slice of bread.

Temari sighed. This land wasn't as golden as its sand. Beneath the shiny surface was a rotten core where children couldn't live as happily as they deserved. She had believed that giving herself to the man who pulled all the strings would give her the strength to assist Gaara and to help this country. But she could do nothing. Now she was a shallow figure with no rights as a woman and no rights as a kunoichi. No more.

It was late in the afternoon. She smiled as Senshou told her stories about his daily life. Finally Shikamaru came back into the tavern. "I think I lost him. Lets go back to the residence."

Startled Temari stood up. "Wait. What do you mean? You lost him?"

"I thought I had found his trait and followed it but he was gone." He turned around ready to leave the tavern.

She somehow sensed that something was odd with the way he avoided her gaze. She could only wonder where he had been the last hour. "What about Senshou?"

Shikamaru looked over his shoulder at the boy that watched him hopefully. "I talked to someone. Senshou you have to wait here. Someone will come and take you home. Goodbye."With that he went outside leaving a stupefied Temari.

She turned to the boy feeling sorry for him to be disappointed again. "He doesn't mean to be so hard. I don't know what happened but I'm sure he arranged something good for you." With that she ruffled his hair. "I have to go now to. But believe me everything will work out fine."

When he smiled like sunshine she wondered why he was left to live on the street while her husband abused his power to become only more powerful. "Goodbye."

By the time she caught up to Shikamaru they were out of town. He didn't speak much and gave her only few information. "What if he was it? Wouldn't it be wise to stalk him down?"

He just continued heading towards the residence. "I have a plan. Don't worry."

With a smirk she tried to bait him. "Don't you care to share?"

Being totally out of character Shikamaru turned his angry self towards her. "I'm investigating. You are the Daimo's wife. I'm acting and you are being. So know let me handle this while you stay quiet, okay?" Without waiting for her answer he continued his way.

Temari stopped walking. "You are an asshole."

He stopped also a little in front of her with his back turned towards her. Head hang low, fist clenched and sighing he seemed like a wreck. "I'm sorry. I'm just trying to protect you. I know you hate it when someone tries to but just once try to accept it. You are a better aid if you don't know."

They stayed quiet for the rest of the way.

Distrust is able to hurt more than hate.

* * *

A/N: What do you think? Is this story still working?


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